HAPPY.

I actually know it all along. But why do I still feel sad? The heart is a weird thing. One minute you do not feel a thing. And one minute you feel like crashing. It brings you happiness but it also brings you devastation. Yeah, it brings me more sadness though. You are obvious, in everything you do. I notice it. I see it. Do not feel sad. Do not worry. I'll be happy if you are.. So be happy.

I cry again and again. I wonder when will the tear reservoir dry up. "I got to move on." I tell myself. "I am happy." I lie but always hope, that I will, be happy.

The days pass. One year, two years, three years,.. I still feel the same. Now, I am so tired. Luckily I have my friends and cousins. They are the light. I try to be positive. Yes, I can do this.
However, every morning when I wake up, all these efforts disappear. I have to start rebuilding myself again. Everything that reminds me of you, crush me. I have to start the whole process again.

When I see you, I start thinking ridiculous things. When I don't, I miss you, a lot. I always think if I should continue thinking of you or forget you. I am proud because I own this feeling. Some never fall in love. I do. But I am still confused.

I cry. I laugh. I smile. I hope for the best. "Everything happens for a reason," right?

Yesterday, I made a decision. I wonder whether if I'll be happy if you are happy. Yes, I think so. I let you go. I want you to move on. Maybe I am just not strong enough. I am not a good fighter. Do what you want to do. Do what I may not be able to do. That is, to say the words, "I love you."

Maybe someday, I'll be able to see you again.

With a fresh heart. Free. And happy.

-michelle

ps: be happy no matter what happens =) because it'll make people around you happier..