Boo ! It's Me ! =)

My fav quote this season.

2011-05-25T05:27:00.000-07:00

"Do you know what's more precious than a friend in this world?

A rival. A rival that you want to destroy.

That's what will make you grow."

-Dream High.

Sounds of the atmosphere.

2011-01-16T17:39:00.000-08:00

The air is still and cold with little dust floating freely in the atmosphere.

-to be continued. uninspired! x(

Wish I Could See You Again

2011-01-07T07:15:00.000-08:00

I lay on the bed last night and all of a sudden my thoughts drifted away to when we first met. I wished I would see you again the next day because I miss you. But instead, only flashes of Final Destination and ghosts appeared in my dreams.

I sighed with disappointment as the following day turned night. Now I know, there would not be anymore chance of seeing you.. I missed the chance, we missed the chance..

Happy New Year

2011-01-02T06:06:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year

Happy New Year..

Well, nothing much. Just, yeah.

This post is meant to be boring so don't expect much. Craps, this can't be boring! It's the first post for this year.! D:

Let's see...

Should I talk about my karaoke day out with my two bestest friends in the world? Nah, you probably don't wanna... I can't really explain events well too. Basically we just..sang - OR YELL. i think i was probably yelling. HAHA. Karaoke was meant to be like that anyway, i guess? =P

I'm getting bored. Seriously, I think you're bored reading this post too. *plssss inspiration, come to mama*

SHINee fever! Gasp, I love SHINee, especially Taemin (heart!) I'm currently watching their videos on youtube.. . . . . .

This post is going nowhere.

Okay, now you hate me for posting such a meaningless post. But still, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

New year, new year, happy new year,
Fireworks and parties, loads of beer,
Dances of celebration, come my dear,
Wishes and kisses, everyone is here!

Er. Hah. Now you hate me even more. Try not to, this year should be full of love. xP

To Rachel

2010-12-27T08:21:00.000-08:00

Pretty, sexy, beautiful Rachel
Smiles so sweetly, just like an angel
Tall and slim, better than a model
Smart and independent, as precious as pearl.

Says and writes daringly on what she feels
She's the Rachel among the Rachels
Loves blogging, facebook and literature
You'll love her like how I love her, my Rachel.

=)

The T-Shirt You Wore

2010-12-20T08:51:00.000-08:00

I walked with a company beside me, arm in arm, from one of the old yellow cabins. Neither you nor I, knew what was destined, not even seconds before we met on that beautiful Sunday. The sun shone brightly and blindingly from the endless sky above but the wind was blowing so gently. I was glad that the weather was kind and pleasant. My peer and I chatted happily with full spirit, walking pass annoyed faces that stared at us. I did not care, why should I? It was a moment of freedom and the air never felt better.

Then, the eyes met and were locked for a split second. The heart was pumping a beat faster than usual, was yours too? The mind was distracted as the wind blew harder against the soul. The legs slowed their pace a little. The spell was casted and there was the victim, me. I...

I saw you.

It was a moment of pressure, yet with a teaspoon of delight, knowing your stare kept returning to me. But I was not sure, if it was because of the red flat pumps I was wearing or because you were simply feeling what I felt.

I looked away after two seconds, afraid of what I have done that might seem obvious. The third second, I was peeking from the corner of my eye to see if you were looking. Your fingers brushed through your curly, lush black hair - I wanted to touch. Your colourful aura amazed and mesmerized me in every way, and in every stare, you blinded me. Even the black coloured Dynamite t-shirt you wore seemed the most comfortable t-shirt on Earth, besides looking cool. And even the Transformers belt buckle looked so adorable on your waist.

For the whole six hours of the course, I saw no one but you, thought of no one but you. Sitting behind you two rows away was the closest I could get but it did not matter as long as I could see you - leaning against the wall, listening to your music through the white earphones, playing a game on the iPhone, sleeping without caring what was happening. It was the time I felt myself liking someone again, after so long.

But it was only for those six hours..

'Cause I will never see you again.

Until now, I still remember the way you looked at me, for the first time, and for the last.

=)

Distant Memory

2010-11-24T21:23:00.000-08:00

Today I stood in a crowd alone
My eyes wondered, and then found you
You looked at her with a smile she owned
And talked with words, so kind and meaningful

I looked and thought - what if I were her
Everything would be perfect and so it would be
Now i thanked her for being here
For she was the one for you, anyone could see

Thanks for the love I once had, you never gave
It once brought sunshine, rain and stars at night
Now just a memory, an experience, a teacher
To push me through the journey, dark or bright

PIMPLES and GRADUATION.

2010-11-07T02:54:00.001-08:00

Hey guys!

Suddenly, I feel inspired again to write something on my blog. Thanks to fernanda, a visitor. ;D My exam's coming in two weeks. Yet, I haven't got myself in a studying mode. Instead, I loiter around my house for hours, go online and off again, watch tv, and loiter again. Now, guilt is eating my insides. I MEAN IT.

Don't you guys think so too, that a few weeks/days before exams, you feel like doomsday is coming? I feel that way. I am mentally tortured.

But, wee! Before all that, my graduation day's this tuesday and i'm feeling pretty excited. I can't wait for it! But at the same time, I wish it will come SLOWLY. because once graduation's over, nothing exciting will be happening. I'll just be stoning until exam arrives.

so, in preparation for my graduation, I've already gotten my clothes ready. A white top and a black skirt. I'm still wondering whether to tie my hair or to let it down... (my hair is shoulder length!) And I still don't know how am I gonna put my make-up. I am so not an expert in putting make-up. And the presence of my eye bags really make things worse.

Horrible make-up + Eyebags (which still can be seen after putting some cream...told you I don't know how to put on make-up) = Frustration.

Now, I have pimples growing. All of a sudden, since a week ago, all these horrible, merciless, painful, bumpy, red volcanoes appeared on my face. Why of all times do they have to appear NOW, all at once... ( T.T My face was still so clear and clean two weeks ago) Why oh why?

Horrible make-up + Eyebags + Pimples = Knocks-head-thinking-about-how-it-will-be-when-taking-graduation-picture

So I tried many methods to get rid of them, really quick. I've successfully (90%) gotten rid of 4 pimples. Now, I'm left with one. One miserable pimple that just would not burst, or dry off.

Method 1 : I use the cold powder (bedak sejuk).... the very traditional powder, people in the olden days use it to prevent pimples and whiten skin/face..

Method 2 : My friend, taught me this. Crush panadol, mix it with a little bit of water, and make panadol paste. Apply it on the pimple. Hm, I'm still trying this. Since morning. The pimple reduced in size. But it's not completely gone yet!

Method 3 : I surfed the net. Some people say toothpaste, while some say, "NOOOOO Toothpaste!" Uhh. Anyway, I tried it. Still trying it too. :D wish me luck!

Method 4 : ...I wanted to use honey, because I've tried it before, it makes the skin super smooth and soft. But i ran out of honey. =(

SO, I have one day left to kill this pimple.

If I really have to, then i'll have to use a lotta make-up to cover the pimple. What is the product specially to cover blemishes and pimples? Bahhh. I don't think my mum has it. Hmph. Failed plan.

Let's see how everything goes, and then I'll tell you! :)

! updated 25 nov : i still have the pimple scar. :O !

I'm trying and see if I can reduce my big eyebags t:Oo! I use this method :) I'll have to try for a few days tho to see if it works. :/ (not my vid!)

Promise (14)

2010-10-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

Chapter 13 : Love You, Love You Not

I found it. The letter I wanted to send a few months ago.

But it is a piece of crap.

---

3rd February 2009, Thursday.
Dear diary,

I am so stupid. Do you agree with me? My determination of blocking negative thoughts have once again, failed. I read the letter I wrote to Cedric. I remember I was so sad I crumpled it so badly.. Wonder why I did not throw it away... I'm glad I did not send it to him. I sounded so depressed and devastated. Who am I? Pffttt...I can live without him.

Gah, no. I'm dying without him..

What should I do? Dear diary, you're the only cure to my heart now... Please, tell me... I don't feel as bad as before, but I'm not sure of what I feel now either. Although Cedric said he would come back, but would my heart still feel the same when that time comes? I'm afraid.. Should I keep loving him, or not?

---

[msn]

Max: Hello?
Sydney: Yeah? Hey..
Max: How are you? You weren't in school...
Sydney: Yeah...
Max: Sick again?
Sydney: Yeah...
Max: Well, get well soon.
Sydney: I guess. Thanks. =)
Max: So...I'll see you in school once you're okay then. Bye.
Sydney: Goodnight.

---

No, the fact is, I am not sick. I am at home, nursing my empty soul. I am sick of Cedric's attitude. What is wrong with him? Why is it so difficult to explain anything to me?

---

[msn]

Cedric: W'sup guys...Got some time?
Danny: Yo, man. Wassup...?
Nick: Yeah? I'm in the mid of a game...
Cedric: I'm in pain here. Who'd ever believe if I said I had no connection for months..?
Danny: Yeah, you finally come online. Phew.
Cedric: I think Sydney's really mad. She hasn't replied my mail. You think she thinks that I lied?
Danny: Possible. You haven't replied her for months... What do you expect? You should have just told her that you did not have internet.
Cedric: That's a lame excuse. Afterall, I left without any warning. She must be mad.
Nick: What do you suggest? Miss you dude. School's boring without you.
Danny: Cedric, there's this guy, Max. He's kinda close with Sydney. Just fyi.
Nick: Yeah, new kid. Feeling threatened?
Cedric: Am I suppose to worry?
Nick: I guess...
Cedric: *stabs self*
Danny: Don't worry tho. I'm sure Sydney just treats him like a friend.
Cedric: How's she doing?
Danny: She's doing fine. Better.
Nick: But at times she looks really, really bad.
Cedric: It's my fault.
Danny: Why don't you msn her?
Cedric: She doesn't seem to come online.
Nick: Maybe she's blocking you.
Danny: Hardly. I'm sure she would wanna have a chat with you.
Cedric: Hopefully.
Danny: Well, don't worry, we'll keep an eye on her.
Nick: Yeah.
Cedric: Thanks, Dan, Nick. I'm going off. Bye guys.
Danny: Bye.
Nick: Uh, bye.

---

"Sydney!"
"Hey, Cindy," I greet with a smile, as usual, I have my bag hung on my shoulder and hold some books in my hand. School is going to be great today.
"How are you? You got me worried, dumping school just like that."
"Sorry. Where's Emma?"
"Talking to Eyrique at the end of the foyer, there."
"Oh."
I look around the foyer again, but not to see Emma. Max, Where is he?
"Max's in the garden," Cindy says, as if reading my mind. That is when Danny Lee and Nick Wright come up to us. They are Cedric's best guy friends. They are pretty cool guys - Danny is quiet but popular, the prom king material while Nick is a quiet but a good gamer. Cedric talks to me a lot about them. Hm, correction - talked. Wonder why they are here.
"Hey, Sydney, Cindy." Both of them greet.
"Hi," Cindy reply, staring at Danny. I nudge her in the elbow.
"Morning, guys, Dan, Nick." I wish them.
"I think you should know that...Um,.." Danny looks at Cindy. Cindy who later understands the cue, leaves me with them. "See you later Syd."
Danny continues, "We talked to Cedric last night. And, he thinks you're mad with him."
"Yeah, he just got his connection a few days ago. It's not his fault he did not contact you. Heard his phone died too," Nick interrupts.
So, it really is not his fault. That is what I think at that moment. But that is all. Something is wrong with me.
"Oh, okay," is all I reply.
"Right... I'm glad you understand. He's worried you're avoiding him or something." Danny says, this time he combs his hair with his fingers. Wow, his hair is something to die for.
"Nah. Thanks guys. I'm sure I'll be chatting with him soon. Bye."
"Bye," both of them say simultaneously.

I walk away and head to the garden, feeling perfectly, normal. I smile. Yeah, this is going to be a fine day.

Seventeen.

2010-01-24T23:46:00.000-08:00

Summarised in 15 words.

23rd/24th/25th January : one of the best birthdays so far although it's the busiest and most stressful day. =)

Sixteen Going On Seventeen

2010-01-23T06:41:00.000-08:00

It's my last day - last hour being a sixteen-year-old. A sweet sixteen-er.
What do they call seventeen-year olds? Sexyy seventeen, or...forever seventeen. heh.

Reminds me of Edward.

'Seventeen.'
'How long have you been seventeen?'

'A while.'

This morning I was talking with M about this. She forgot and thought Edward was eighteen. I laughed so badly. Haha.

I have nothing much to say actually. Just wanna update my blog and make this my last sweet sixteen post. Woots.

School and homework = disaster. I'm doing homework on my last day of being sixteen and first day being seventeen. 'Welcome to life,' says M.

Oh and yeah, I celebrated my birthday just now, dinner at La Carrettas (hope i spelled it correctly.) a Mexican Restaurant. There was a big family beside my table which was celebrating a lil' girl's birthday too. The staff sang happy birthday for her. I enjoyed it although it's not for me. LOL. (Roughly remembers)..My dish was Quesadillas and I drank Margarita. =) Also, yum yum oysters. I'll not go into details. Too tired.

And I'm off to do my homework. Or maybe just stall for a bit.

-michelle, ps: i can still taste the oysters in my mouth. =)

'it's almost a week but the memory of you is still fresh in my mind.'

Blood Red Tears and My Thoughts.

2010-01-19T19:30:00.000-08:00

For the past three days, sorrow poured over the gloomy land and sea of Penang. 6 bodies from the dragon boat tragedy were found one after another. ChungLingHighSchool Club teacher Chin Aik Siang, and students Jason Ch'ng, Brendon Yeoh, Goh Yi Zhang, Cheah Zi Jun and Wang Yong Xiang unfortunately never made it through the mishap safely. Although I never knew them in person, I have friends who knew them, who shared precious moments with them. Hopes and wishes were flooding Facebook as friends called them to come home. People prayed, so did I, trading my birthday wish for every single hope. To learn that our prayers and wishes did not come true, I felt (and still feel) gloomy.

That night just after the incident, I slept at 2.30 am after just surfing the net about the victims. Blur pictures of the sea and waves created chaos in my subconcious mind as I slept. I woke up with a worried heart. On Monday, in school, I looked at my watch and wondered if any of those missing were found safely yet. In my head, I felt disturbed. The usual noise in my class that I was used to was making me lose sanity. I needed peace. Finally the long school hours were over. I switched on the computer as soon as I was back home at two and visited star online. It said, two more bodies were found. My heart dropped and coldness wrapped itself around me. After lunch I stayed in front of the computer and kept on refreshing the page for the latest news. Later I had to leave at 4.20 pm to attend school's sports practice. At 6.30 pm when I was back I refreshed the page again. There it was, a statement saying all bodies were found at 4.25 pm. I didn't know what to do. I cried.

Today, I woke up. I heard the wind blowing hard and the trees swayed, creating a sad and creepy melody. It then started raining heavily at 7 in the morning for a couple of hours. The sky remained grey and dark. In class, I kept thinking of the people and the mishap. Why did it had to happen? I thought. They were so young. Four were at my age. My friend was patient enough to hear me moaning the whole morning. It was really weird because (1) I felt really sad for the victims whom I barely knew, and (2) was it normal? Normally, when we read news about tragedies in the paper, we sympathise with them, but the sadness only lasted a while. But now, mine has lasted for two days. Today, I wore black to tuition, head to toe. The day was moody and dull and so was I. I hope by writing this I feel better. Ah well.

Sadly, I have homework to do now. A lot of them. So, I'll sign off now.

-michelle

"It's not about how it ended. It's about the journey."

Who are you?

2010-01-14T06:06:00.000-08:00

Who are you? The one who grasp the memories of your first love? Or the one who misses your last everyday? Or both? Perhaps...neither.

People always remember their first love. The first time they feel the rush inside the mysterious yet magical heart, the first time they yearn for that person so badly... The first time the flowers bloom beautifully with grace in spring, spreading their satin petals apart..

But would they remember their last love? The sweet times both of them spend together. The sadness and happiness they share. The times when they spend hours on the phone - complaining about their busy day or telling how much they love each other.. But in a day, everything changes.. Nothing is left.

What if.. that someone is your first love and the last? And you have to let go. The pain stabs you in the heart when you want to let go, the sorrow pours when he passes by, but excitement rushes through with just a single hi..

You want to say the three common words so badly.. "I love you." What if you never will have that chance? No chance. Or, if suddenly a spark of hope ignites, would you? Say those words?

I won't, because love is easily be forgotten. It is.

-michelle-

Tagged by Michael Boon

2009-12-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

1_ 大名: Michelle Tan Yin Ting
2_ 生日: January 24
3_ 谁传给你的: Michael Boon
4_ 生日想拿到什么礼物: Camera HQ
5_ 最近压力大的事: School is starting. T^T
6_ 想做的事: Watch movie, and learn and bake food
7_ 有没有喜欢的人: Yes
8_ 跟谁出去最幸福+快乐: Yee-Pei, Rachel Khaw, Marissa Law
9_ 如果你的好朋友吵架了,你会怎么做: Tell them it's alright. Everything will be okay.
10_ 最想和别人去那里: The beach or a hill top.
11_ 圣诞节想做什么: Be with family, especially my cousins <3
12_ 最想跟谁庆祝圣诞节: Same question? Family...best if with friends too.
13_ 最近在做什么: Paint nails, watch movies in cinema, chat..
14_ 有几个兄弟姐妹: Younger brother
15_ 最喜欢的一首英文/华文歌: DBSK..currently, Survivor
16_ 喜欢什么颜色: Pink
17_ 上厕所会不会冲水: Duh
18_ 喜欢男还是女生:男生
19_ 最想大大声说什么: Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
20_ 半夜敢不敢上厕所: Yes, desperate ma..
21_ 你现在最恨谁: uh hm...
22_ 现在喜欢做什么: Being with my cousins and relatives
23_ 睡相好不好看: I don't know
24_ 现在的时间: 1134
25_ 是否厌恨传给你这卷子的人: No! x)
26_ 体重多少: 46-47 kg
27_ 今天天气: Sunny!
28_ 如果忙完了你最想做什么: Read manga
29_ 失眠后会怎样: Scribble randomly on a piece of paper at the table
30_ 你晚上睡觉会不会尿床: No
31_ 你晚上睡觉会不会流口水: A bit
32_ 你有没有吃过夜宵: A lot
33_ 近期开心的事: Sleepover at cousin's
34_ 自由对你来说重要吗: Yesh
35_ 你觉得在朋友当中谁最性感: Shermaine
36_ 你觉得你比较笨还是聪明: more to 聪明. mwaha. xD
37_ 你比较喜欢爸爸还是妈妈: Both
38_ 你现在最想看到谁: Michael Boon and Shanny!
39_ 你爱看戏吗: Yes
40_ 你敢向你讨厌的人说"我恨你吗?: 敢

++附加问题++
41_ 你打算几时结婚啊: 25-27 years old
42_ 你喜欢你的生活吗: Okay
43_ 相信塔罗牌吗: Never experience, never know
44_ 睡觉前所做的事情: Brush teeth, wash legs, wash face, pray
45_ 你的偶像: DBSK
46_ 你喜欢的季节: Autumn and Winter
47_ 最想去的地方: South Korea, Japan, Australia
48_ 最讨厌怎样的性格的人: Someone who fakes
49_ 你会抽烟吗: Never!
50_ 你会喝酒吗: Wine
51_ 你常哭吗: No
52_ 你常笑吗: Yesh
53_ 想睡到几点: 8 am
54_ 朋友和情人你会选谁: Friends
55_ 机会+命运你会选谁: 机会
56_ 你很自恋吗: Not really
57_ 你有穿耳洞吗: Yes
58_ 这问卷多不多: Not really
59_ 喜欢吃冰吗: Yes
60_ 现在幸福吗: Yup
61_ 最在乎谁: Everyone
62_ 房间里最重要的东西是什么: Lappy, luggage, phone
63_ 没有朋友你会怎么做: Find friends!
64_ 如果天使给你实现一个愿望,你想要什么: No more school
65_ 这个问题废吗: Tres
67_ 喜欢那个水果: A lot leh.. plum, mango, mangosteen, strawberry,...endless
68_ 最怕人家问你什么: How? Next year, SPM?
69_ 喜欢下雪吗: Yesh
70_ 下辈子要做什么: Not sure yet
71_ 希望再被tag吗: Okay okay
72_ 没事做你喜欢等人吗: Depends
73_ 你吃饱了没有?：Yes
74_ 看到問卷你的反應是?: Okay la

-点到必填，不填代表你不尊重传给你的人和问卷
-请老实回答每一问题
-不能擅自涂改题目
-写完请点10 位小朋友，不可以不点
-完后请通知那10 位小朋友被点到的小朋友我最爱的你们～看你们幸运被我点到

1. Shewin Khaw
2. Rachel Ng
3. Charissa Tan
4. Rachel Khaw
5. Yee Pei
6. Daren Lim
7. Wen Shen
8. Sin Loon
9. Crztal Shia
10. You! (You know who you are..) ~.^

Promise (13)

2009-12-07T22:18:00.000-08:00

Chapter 12 : Confusion

2nd January 2009, Sunday.
Dear diary,

A new year, with new resolutions - like writing a diary - and new...experiences. I have been thinking and worrying less now. "Enjoy and feel the flow.." Cindy says. Every morning I hang my necklace around my neck before heading to school. Homeworks like essays and projects are enough to keep me busy. I talk to more people now. This guy, Eyrique from Biology, asks me a lot about Emma. I wonder if they will be together. Emma says she doesn't have a 'thing' towards him. But, who knows? I grin a sly grin. Furthermore, Cindy and Cole have been hanging out really frequently - which ends up sometimes leaving Emma and I alone. Or sometimes, leaving me, alone as Emma has been going away almost every weekend for class activities and stuff.

Max? New year means new enrollment. But, Max and I are still in the same classes. However, things are not so bad now when I look at it. Guess I exaggerated a lot earlier. When Cindy and Emma are busy, he will call to see if we can have a pizza and watch movie. Just like what friends do when they hang out. So, I am determine to block every negativity which stands in my way. No more bad thinking. No more sadness. No more - tears... Hmm.. I have to remember to read this page everyday so I won't get confused about how I feel.
It's just a matter of time before I see him - Cedric - again.
Yeah, I haven't forgotten about him. Breathe.

Sydney.

---

"So you free later?" Max asks me on a Monday afternoon in mid January as the last bell rings.
"Er, I have to finish an assignment." I look at him as I reply. His lips form an upside-down curve. I laugh. "Alright then. Hmm. How about, tomorrow? We'll grab something, like..ice-cream."
"Hah! Now you're talking. Okay. See ya tomorrow!" He gives me a pat on my shoulder and strides off like he always does.
"See you tomorrow..." Cindy imitates him as she walks to me.
"What?" I ask nonchalantly but continue, "Any updates?"
"Cole and I are going indoor rock-climbing this Saturday. Wanna join?"
"You know you don't want me there."
"Aww, come on. I'm not that bad. I'm thinking of sacrificing romance once for my dear Sydney and Emma. But I asked her. She can't make it. So, you?"
"Nah. Rock-climbing...Not my favourite."
"Hmm. You sure?" She asks again.
"Yes, I'm pretty sure, Cindy. Now, you may go because I think it's Cole there waiting for you." I point towards the guy in black at the other end of the corridor. She waves at him.
"Oh, okay. Love you. Bye!" Cindy says to me.
"Bye."

I sit at my table as I scribble a list of things to do this week - the last week before February comes knocking on my door, maybe even window. Almost nothing besides homework. I sigh. Can anybody's life be more boring? Then my phone rings.
"Hello."
"Hey, Max. Wassup?"
"Hmm, can I ask you out for dinner tonight?"
I think for three seconds. "Yeah, sure."
"I'll pick you up at six."
"Alright."
I look at the time. Four. What shall I do now? Just then a new email pops out from the bottom of the screen of my dad's laptop. It is his but I use it more than he does. Convenient laptop... Technology nowadays..

I click the email open. A sudden flash of shock is sent across the screen to my body, sending an electric wave into my spine, as I read the words in front of my widely-opened eyes, framed with serious eye bags, muttering them under my small, helpless breath.

To: Sydney
From: Cedric

Hey, Syd.

It has been four months. I am sorry I didn't reply any of your mails earlier. Things were tough when I just got here and I needed time. I'm in New Zealand. Will contact you again, soon. Bye.
Love, Cedric.

I'm not scared, seeing the words - 'four months'. I'm not touched either, seeing the words - 'I am sorry'. Neither am I understanding, reading 'I needed time'. I am just - fuming, with rage. No longer explanations after those months of sudden disappearing? No other information, apart from his stupid location? 'Will contact you again, soon'. Who am I? I feel like cursing him, but I can't. So I just close the message and shut down the laptop. End of story. Well, not so. I reach for my phone again. It shows fifteen minutes past four. I look for the number at the 'received calls' and hit the call button.
"Hey, Max. I'm not feeling really well. It's a sudden thing.. Sorry, I can't go out tonight. I'm really, truely sorry. Maybe we'll hang out some other day." My heart is hurting, not only for Cedric, but also for Max. He has been so nice and sweet towards me. I don't deserve a friend like him. I feel awful, rejecting his offer just because of one stupid email from a....person.
"You're not well? I can make a visit for a lil' while--"
"No, it's alright. I just need some sleep, that's all. I call you again then. Bye, Max." And I end the line. I am so confused.

Confused. Confused.

--

26th January 2009, Wednesday.
Dear diary,

Aren't I handling things well recently? Why does my heart seem to fail me, my plans, and my life? Why? Just when I start to see flowers and butterflies and blue skies again. And melting snow and yellow umbrellas and rocky sand. Argh, I'm crapping. I need a nap.

--

Promise (12)

2009-11-16T05:32:00.000-08:00

Chapter 11 : Laugh 'Cause You're Beautiful

The sky is raining cotton candy - the snowflakes reflect romantic pastel colours as the cloud moves, exposing the sun from time to time. The ground has been carpeted with a layer of Alice Blue. Children from the supermarket rush out to play. Some shape snowballs while some make snow angels. Suddenly, I see a snowball charging towards Max and hitting him right into the face with a hard slam. A girl laughes. His shocked expression makes me laugh too.
"This is the first time I see you laugh." He says, wiping away the cold ice that has started to melt on his red face. I laugh again when I see his face.
"You're really pretty when you laugh."
"Not." I look away, pretending to be watching and observing every single shape and pattern of the snowflakes. Hexagons, pentagons...
"It's finally snowing, huh.."
I look up and see him smiling. I just realize that he has a really nice, curved nose bridge. He looks down - and I instantly and instinctively pull my gaze away and reply an awkward, "Yeah." I clear my throat.
"Are you thinking of something? About me?"
"No!" My voice hit an octave higher. I clear my throat again. "No."
He laughs. "You're funny."
"Am not."
"Say.. why don't we have some fun..?"
"What?" I ask, looking up at him again. He's so tall.. The next thing I know, he pulls me towards the snow. The paper bags drop from his hands - and mine. "The bags!" I shriek.
"Leave it there, we'll take it later."
I hate to admit it. But I have a fun time playing in the snow - with him. Cars honk - drivers shout at us to move away from their road. The children throw snowballs at us. We hit them back. The light lemon sun ray shines through a hole in a cloud - balancing the temperature of the atmosphere. I admit, I haven't had so much fun since Cedric left.
"Here, let me show you. Roll the snow in your palms.. Shape it into a sphere with your hands. There!" Max helps a boy with his snowball. He looks at me. I smile at him. What am I thinking? Am I losing my mind? For a dangerous moment, I start taking him as a friend - or maybe it's more than just a friend.

"Thanks, I had a great time." Max says as he pulls the car to a halt. "You sure you don't wanna have lunch together?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. And thanks to you too." I say, trying to unbuckle my seatbelt. I have a problem with it. It will not unbuckle. I pull and push. This is so embarassing.
"Let me help you." He offers and reaches over to help me unbuckle. No.
"No, 's'kay." I quickly tell him, afraid that he will come any closer. Click. Phew. "Well, thanks for the ride."
"No problem." Max says. "Oh yeah. Sydney, I guess..We're friends?"
I wait to think of an answer. Friends.. "I guess so.. Yeah. We are friends." I turn to open the door but look back. "One more thing, why did you change classes?"
"The truth?"
"No. Of course, the truth."
"I'll tell you some other time." He smiles and hands me this small light fuchsia-pink box with rhinestones on it. "Merry Christmas."
I don't know what to say. I've just accepted his friend request and now he's giving me a Christmas present - a beautiful one, even from the outside. "Max, this is.. Thank you, but no, thank you. I appreciate the effort. I have to go." And I climb out of the car, into the flood of snow under my feet, and close the door behind me.

As I lie on my bed that night, I hold out a hand above me, and start sketching random stars - and Cedric's name in cursive. It has almost been four months. My heart doesn't ache so badly anymore.. But I still hold on to the promise. He says he will come back. But when? I can't help but to ask it again and again. My thoughts fly back to this afternoon, when Max shows me the box. I should start accepting people - accepting Max who wants to be my friend. However, something in me says that I'm betraying Cedric. I'm not, I try telling myself. I still love Cedric. I have to. Max is no more than a friend. Four months and still, no news from Cedric, I just have to hang on and be patient.

How long will I last?

Promise (11)

2009-11-14T23:31:00.000-08:00

Chapter 10 : Snow

This is too much. This is just too much. The Max guy is changing every of his classes to every single class that I attend. What is wrong with him? First, language, now P.E., history, geography, arts, maths.. I try to avoid him as much as possible in class, but he just can't stop bothering me.
"Hey, Sydney! I like your blouse!" Max says when he enters for history. Everybody turns and looks at me - and my blouse. My amaranth-pink blouse, with floral patterns. Urgh, I shouldn't have taken off my jacket.
"Remind me if I ever wear this again." I tell Wilma, a girl who sits beside me during history. She nods.
"It's nice." Wilma praises. I blush. Now everybody's going to notice what I wear everyday. On second thought, maybe not. For the past two weeks, chaos has taken over my school life, thanks to Mr Campbell. But I sigh in relief when I remember that Christmas holidays are finally here, in a few days time. After the holidays, peace will be restored and my life will be back to normal - the Max guy will probably get over messing with me, at least that's what I think.

"So, are you planning anything for Christmas?" Max asks with a sudden British accent as we walk out of the class. I raise an eyebrow.
"I wonder if..We could go out. You know, I want to get some provisions - and I am still not familiarized with this new area."
I stop and turn to talk to him. "Maybe you can ask your friends." I point at a group of guys at the corner that seems to be looking and talking about us.
"I've asked them. They're too busy. Please?"
I think for a while. A schedule forms in my head. Saturday, lunch with Mum and Dad and a distant relative. Sunday, finish up homework. Monday, meet up with old friends, including Cindy. Tuesday, help with the Christmas decorations at home. Wednesday, Christmas eve, dinner with Mum and Dad. Thursday...Christmas, marks one year since I celebrated it with Cedric at 'Green Forest'..I feel a tear in my eyes and blink it off instantly.
"No, I'm...really busy too. It's only after Christmas that I'm free."
"Well, let's make it Friday then."
I purse my lips and frown. "Didn't you say you wanna get some Christmas provisions?"
"No, I said 'provisions'."
"Ohh."
"Please?" He beg again, which makes me feel bad. Who am I? It's like I'm the bad guy.
I nod. Then, regret it the next second.
"By the way, I really like your blouse. You should wear this often." He winks his signature wink and strides off down the corridor. His honey-blond hair shimmers a shade of gold as a little ray of bronze light shines in from the windows. Wow.. I think, bedazzled and shake my head from imagining wilder thoughts.

"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, children. You may all leave now." Mr Harry, my geography teacher, wishes us as soon as the bell rings, indicating the start of winter holidays.
"Merry Christmas, Mr Harry." We all wish and carry our books out of the class to our respective lockers. Chatters of excitement fills the corridor. While walking, I think of what to do this afternoon. Cindy pats my back and puts an arm on my shoulder.
"Monday, sweetie." She reminds me.
"Yeah, I remember."
"Where's Max?"
"Who?" I ask.
"Max."
"I don't know. Am I suppose to know?"
She shrugs. "I guess so. He's like your magnet."
"A magnet..."
"Don't you think so? He sticks to you. He talks to you. He.. Oh my gosh, he likes you." She widen her eyes like she has just discovered that her favourite Taylor Lautner is dating Taylor Swift.
"No, he doesn't."
"His eyes can't lie. Don't you see it? I can't believe I just realized this. Of course he likes you. He has been flirting with you.." She gasps. "You have an admirer, Sydney."
"Shhh. Keep it down. No, he doesn't and I don't care." I walk faster, holding my books tight. Max passes us and waves goodbye. Cindy waves back.
"Why not? He's cute. Even cuter than Cole, but of course, I still love my sweet Cole. Sydney, forget about Cedric already. He's the one."
I reach out for my locker and dump the books in. I take out other books that I need for homework, put them in my bag, and shut the door close.
"Oh,..I..I'm sorry, Syd. I didn't mean that. It's just.." Cindy apologizes.
"S'kay, Cindy." I say, my hands still pressing onto the door. I look down. Cedric.. It's been a while since someone calls his name in front of me. "I'm just not ready for any other.." I sigh. "See you on Monday." I tell her and walk away.
"Bye.." Cindy says.

After lunch I go up, shut my room door and plunge to the bed - hitting the edge of it on my head. "Oww." My eyes are like two heavy metal doors, forcing themselves to open but can't because they're rusty. Although I feel tired, my mind just can't rest. I lie on the bed for an hour - barely getting any sleep. By then, I don't want to sleep anymore. It's even tiring, waiting to get to sleep. I sit at my table and take out some English books from my bag. Somehow, unintentionally, I open my drawer. The small stone greets me with a shine - And I get an idea. With one swift movement, I grab the pendant and head out of the room.
"Where are you going?" Mum asks when she sees my getting my keys.
"To the shop."
"Be careful. It's cold out there. Don't stay too long."
"Alright."
It's drizzling outside but I ignore the drops. I put on the hood of my jacket and start walking. The journey to the jewellery shop takes me about roughly 15 minutes. I pull out the gift from Cedric and show it to the owner. "May I have a chain for this. Er, not too expensive."
"Here you go." The owner hands me a thin sterling silver. I hook the pendant onto the chain. Perfect. This will be my Christmas present.
"It's a beautiful pendant. May I have a look at it?" She asks.
"Sure." I give it to her, proud that it's mine.
"It's rare. It's a combination of Persian blue and midnight green. A fine combination.. But I'm not sure what it's called, though I've seen this before. Do you know?" This lady seems to know a lot about crystals.
"I don't know. My..boyfriend gave it to me."
"Is he from the South?"
"The South?"
"Yeah, I think this is from the South, somewhere.. I've seen it before when I was on a trip there." She returns my treasure. I pay her the money for the silver chain and walk out.
"The South?" I whisper to myself. "Cedric didn't tell me.. It's rare. It has to be expensive. And it's from the South. The South.." I repeat. Suddenly it hits me. He knows he's going South - but why doesn't he tell me? I feel a pang of disappointment. He doesn't want me go looking for him. But why?
"Oh, what's the use if I know this? It's not like I can fly to see him now. Cedric.."

Saturday and Sunday are boring while Monday is a little bit depressing. My old friends from primary, Fion, Queenie, Jamie talk about boyfriends the whole time. Cindy and Haylie talked about the seas. Apparently, Haylie is in the nature club and she says that nature is being terribly destroyed. "It is our duty to save the poor nature."
"Yes." Cindy agrees. I just nod, not really in a mood for this topic now. Thursday, I have to go to 'Green Forest' I think to myself.

Today is Friday. I moan, thinking that I'll have to go out later.
Two days ago, I celebrate Christmas with Mum and Dad. After dinner, we sit at the fireplace, enjoying the family moment.
"It's weird. It hasn't snowed this year." Dad says.
"Yeah.. Remember those days? We used to play snowball fight outside, in Christmas morning. We would build mini snow forts. Dad always loses when I team up with you, right, honey?" Mum runs her fingers down my hair.
"Yes." I laugh, remembering how Dad used to be all wet from the snowballs that we throw.
"Sad, it's not snowing yet. Perhaps it will tomorrow." Mum says.

And the sky still refuses to let its white flakes fall the next day. Instead, the air is just still - even my neighbour's wind chimes do not tinkle it's sweet melody. But I still carry on my plan. At night, I visit 'Green Forest'. It feels weird being in there again. The last time, Cedric has prepared a candle-lit dinner - an unforgettable night which now seems to be just a distant memory. This is where I celebrated his 17th birthday too. I sip a glass of orange juice, sitting by the window, looking up into the clear, dark blue sky. The sky, the one and only thing that connects me with Cedric now - now that I can't see him, I'll just have to look at it, hoping that he's doing the same too. "Merry Christmas, Cedric." I wish into mid air. My hands touch the pendant that is now a necklace hanging around my usually-bare neck. At the other corner of the hall, a family is having a party. They ask me if I would like to join them but I decline the invitation with a 'thank you' and head out to the street after finishing my drink.

"Sydney! He's here!"
"Thanks, Mum!" I shout from my room. I look out my window and see Max standing outside. He is wearing a brown winter jacket with a black sweatshirt. He sees me and waves. I quickly look away from the window. Isn't it suppose to be at eleven? I check the time - It's only.. Eleven.
"Good morning." He wishes as I walk down the driveway.
"Morning. Okay, let's go."
"Where are you going? I have a car."
I look at his direction and see a lava red Toyota Scion XD. Imported huh, I raise an eyebrow and say, "I'll walk."
"But.."
"You can ride if you want to."
"But I'll need the car for the things."
"The things." I repeat. "Right."
He escorts me to the car and that makes me uncomfortable. "Er, thanks."
"Welcome," he replies. "So where do you normally shop for provisions?" he asks as soon as he starts the engine to life.
"There's a supermarket one kilometre away from here. Usually my dad drives us there.."
"And you almost wanted to walk." Max teases and changes his mood when he sees my not-so-impressed expression. "I'm joking, okay?"
We drive in silence for a few minutes before he says, "That's a pretty necklace." It takes me a few seconds to realize that he is talking about my necklace.
"Oh, thanks."
"A present?"
"The pendant is."
"It's the shape of a heart. From someone special?" he asks. I don't even know it's heart-shaped. I look at the pendant lying on my gray shirt.
"Yeah, it's from somebody I.." Reluctant whether to choose the word love or loved, i just said, "..love."
"Ah.." Max seems surprised by my answer - because from the moment we park the car until we pay at the counter, he remains silent. I help him carry some of the paper bags.

We walk out of the supermarket and - It is snowing.

Promise (10)

2009-11-14T05:39:00.000-08:00

Chapter 9 : Familiar

One month till Christmas..

"Candy canes! Candies!" Someone is yelling at the side of the road. It is a bright and sunny day. It hasn't snowed but the temperature is as low as the temperature in a double-sized freezer. Everyone walking on the street are rushing from shops to shops, stalls to stalls, shopping for Christmas.
"Mummy, I want toy." A girl tells her mum, pointing at a toy emporium on my left.
"What toy, sweetheart?"
"That one!" She jumps as she shows. Both the mother and child walk into the emporium. I decide to enter it too.
It is amazing. There are toy trains, doll houses, christmas trees, toy guns, plush toys and all the toys you can ever think of in this place. Children are running, chasing and bumping into each other as they shout. I can't help but to smile. I walk deeper into the store. It's magical.
I know that I won't get anything, just seeing is good enough. So I turn, to head back. As I cross the counter, I see a guy putting some money into the donation box while paying for something, a music box. He looks content. Christmas should be about giving, I remember Mum saying. I figure that if everybody does charity, it'll be like Christmas everyday. Happiness will always exist.

A glow shines from the outside, towards the direction of the counter, towards me, blinding my eyes for a moment. It is the intense light reflection of a car window. Despite my eyes being distracted by the blazing ray, I notice something else. Something, caramel-coloured? I think.
As the glow disappears the caramel-coloured sparkle disappears as well. Huh. By then, the generous guy already is outside, walking in front of the glass display-window of the emporium that separates it from the outer world.

He looks familiar, I notice.

Somewhere, somehow, I've seen him before, but where? I know that there are many people in the world that you consider familiar, but he is different. It's like I know him. I rush out of the store and look around. He's gone. "Candy canes! Candies!" The person at the candy shop is still attracting customers, at least, trying to. I feel my phone vibrating and take it out from the left pocket. Emma's name is on the caller ID. "Hi, Emma."
"Hi, Syd. Wanna hang out tonight? Aunty Anne's."
I think for a while. No plans tonight. "Okay, see you then."

"So, how's the investigation going?" I ask them as soon as I reach the girls.
"One sour-cream pretzel, please," Cindy orders and looks at me, "It's fine."
"Yeah, the bully apologized, his family apologized to the other family and case solved." Emma adds in.
"Huh?" I ask, a little blur.
"Haha. Never mind. It's just that, the bully promised not to do it again. The other boy who got punched and kicked, forgived him. That's all." Cindy further explains.
"Hmm. People nowadays.. At least he knows he's wrong, the bully I mean.."
"Two original pretzels, please." Emma orders and winks at me. I wink back.

After the hang out, I split with my friends. We head back to our own homes. The weather is getting chilly again. I slip my hand into the pockets and quicken my walking pace. Two minutes and I'll freeze, I exaggerate. Aunty Anne's is near my house, it's located at the same road as my school. So, I'll be home in no time. "Sydney!"
I turn to my right. I see a person, but only the shape of its being, like a shadow. It's so dark. The person move forward. It startle me and my body reacts by moving a few steps back, keeping the space between the stranger and me. We move in synchronization. I plan in my head, if anything goes wrong I'll run. No, I'll take off now. The next moment we are under one of the street lights. He is smiling at me. I can finally see this stranger for the first time. No, this is not the first time..

Suddenly I remember. The guy from my dream. The guy I see this morning in the toy store. This guy standing in front of me now. They are the same person. My mouth drop open. The caramel-coloured eyes. The hair. The smile. My dream is coming to life. I touch my forehead, fever? Why am I hallucinating?
The next thing I know, I am running. Yes, as far as I remember, I freeze in the dream. Run!
Then I stop after a few meters and turn around.
He's still looking.
"He knows my name?" I realize.
"Are you gonna continue running?" he asks loudly although there is no need for that. It's pretty quiet.
He walks toward me and stop, leaving some space in between. "Are you afraid of me?"
"Why should I? I...I'm not." I lie. Don't talk to strangers, honey, Mum's advice repeats several times in my head. "You know what? I got to go. I'm in a rush."
"I called you twice." He says. "You didn't go to the foyer when I ask you to."
"Ohh, you are that guy?" I ask.
He brush his hair with his fingers. "Well, yeah."
"I guess I should introduce myself, huh," he continues.
"Yes." I nod.
"I'm your new schoolmate. Just moved to this school a month ago. My name is Max Campbell. People call me Max.. You've never seen me in school?"
"No." I shake my head.
"Well, I saw you walking with your friends at the corridor on my first day.."
"And thought of stalking me by asking for my number in the office," I finish.
"Stalking.. It's a powerful word. It's more like wanna-get-to-know-you-better." He place his hands into his jeans pocket.
"But still.. look. I have to go, okay? Have a good evening." I turn to walk home.
"Let me walk you home." This time, he is beside me, walking too.
"No."
"It's dangerous."
"Dangerous.." I repeat.
"You think I'm kidding? There are many bad guys nowadays."
I give him a look. Look who's talking..
"I appreciate your help. But, it's really fine. Thank you." I decide to be polite, remembering that scene this afternoon. Finally he stop following. He must have thought that he's creeping me out - I am creeped out.

"Boo!"
I jump from my seat. "Cindy! Don't do that!"
"Somebody's daydreaming!" she says.
"No, I'm not." I defend.
"I didn't say it was you. Anyway, yeah, you are daydreaming. What are you thinking?" she asks as she takes her seat next to me. Today, we're learning Italian for language class.
"Nothing."
"Come on."
"Nothing." I stare at the blank blackboard in front. Just then Emma arrives at the front door - with Mr Ray, our language teacher and someone else behind her. It's him.
"Argh." I moan.
"What?" Cindy asks.
"Alright, students. Good morning. Today, I would like to announce that Max Campbell will now be joining us for language. Let's welcome him, shall we? Thank you." He shows Max to an empty seat a few rows in front of us and walks back to the front to continue last week's lesson.
Emma joins us at the table.
"Ohh, cutie. Which class was he from?" Cindy asks and looks at us.
"I don't know," Emma replies.
I shrug nonchalantly.

Cedric, two months since I last met you.. How are you doing?

2012 (film)

2009-11-14T03:36:00.000-08:00

21 Disember, 2012.

That's what it says, dooms day.

Today, I queued up to buy tickets for the movie 2012 for an hour. But you know what? It's worth it. The movie will never get you bored although it's two and a half hours long. Two and a half hours of action, sadness, lol-ness and even a lil' twist of romance. But mostly action. xD

Action
The visual and effects are awesome. Some of the scenes just make you hold your breathe. Careful: You may tend to squeeze your own hand, covering your mouth at the same time. In your heart, it says, "Quick! Run! Don't die! No! The earth's splitting! Hurry!" When watching it, you feel the blood rush, the adrenaline conquers your body. You freeze and just can't take your eyes of the screen.

Sad
This movie is rather sad. I cried. I even used tissues (took them out without looking into my bag - like I said - can't take your eyes off) Characters wish their loved ones goodbye, some never have the chance.. Some sacrifice themselves to save others.. Seeing the cars, homes, buildings, grasslands, and almost everything either being swallowed by the violent, raging earth or giant tsunamis. It's really sad. It's worse when you see people, running and crying for help, with no where to go.. see them perish into the earth (or flushed away to death by the tidal waves). Some people just wait and pray till the time comes. Millions die, within seconds. Careful : Do not wear heavy make-ups, unless you are sure you won't shed a tear.

Funny
Of course, there are also funny moments in this movie. Without this element, it'll be too depressing and emotional. When you think things are getting even more serious, some moments, even when human populations are at stake, just crack you up, sending everyone in the cinema laughing and clapping.

Romance
Although it's an action film-disaster movie, i think the ending is rather romantic. If you're a fan of romance (like me!), you will still love this movie, not just because of its ending, but also because of its overall performance which gives you a satisfying feel and a sense of awareness about our world.

We Were Warned

So for those of you who haven't watched this movie, watch it! If you never plan to watch it, consider again! It's really awesome (with the exclamation point) (!)

-michelle :)
fear of the end of the world : doomsday phobia

ps: i especially like Johann Urb (Sasha in the movie) !! - found out that we share the same birthday - 24th jan!!

one word i rarely use...HOTNESS~ too bad girls, he's married.

Promise (9)

2009-11-13T05:47:00.000-08:00

Chapter 8 : Stalker?

I have to move on... I have to move on... I keep telling myself ever since the day he left. My wound in my heart hasn't healed itself, but I have to be strong. I know it, he knows it too.

"He what??" Cindy asks with a great horrific expression as we walk to class.
"Sydney.." Emma adds in.
"I'm fine, guys." I lie. They don't have to suffer with me. The only reason I tell them is because Cindy will find out sooner or later - about Cedric. It's so weird saying his name. Cedric.
"Hmm... Okay, let's, er.. hang out after school!" Cindy suggests, hopping a little and smiling at the same time. I see Emma nudge her elbow from the corner of my eye.
"Ow! What?" Cindy cries out. She rubs her elbow for several seconds and then looks at me looking at her. Both of them look at me.
I walk and stand in front of the girls, facing them.
"Look, I'm fine." I repeat. I don't want them to feel awkward with me. Just because I lose a boyfriend, doesn't mean that I have to lose them too. They are too precious. "Let's have ice-cream later." I said after a while.
We all look at each other, and laugh.

Cedric..how are you today? It has been a month. You haven't called or mailed me. Are you alright? I am worried. I miss you.

"SUPER-MEGA-GAJILLION-OMGNESS!!!!" Cindy shouts at the other end of the phone line. "Guess what?? Someone just asked me out!!! He's from our school. Do you know Cole? I am chatting with him online now. He's super cute. Such a sweetie! Ohhh!!! He said that we'll meet tomorrow.." She trails off.
"Tomorrow?" I ask again. "Aren't we going out for a movie?"
"Oh...Yeah. Er. Hm..."
"Never mind. Go ahead." I feel irritated. She drags me into the girls-night-out plan and now she's cancelling it. But it's not her fault. I understand - because I was once deeply and crazily in love too. I am still now - the fact that I am also a little lost in my blue imaginery sea.
"I'm so sorry, Sydney.. I am very sorry."
"What do you mean you're sorry?" I tell her. "If you're happy, I'm happy. Now, quickly pick your dress!" I hope I sound convincing enough. I think I do.
"Okay! I'll call you when I find it! Oh-em-gee. I should have cleaned my wardrobe ages ago. It's such a mess. I doubt I can find anything in there."
I smile. She's so funny. I love her for that.
"Okay, so I'll talk to you later?" she asks.
"Yeap."

I put my phone down on my study table. I sit in silence, listening to the crickets outside sing, listening to the frogs croak. The grass is still wet from evening's rain, reflecting the light from the white blue moon. It reminds me of the pendant Cedric left me. The shiny, pretty blue green crystal. I open my table drawer and find it lying with some of his other memories - a handkerchief he once lent me, a pencil he gave me, a photo of both of us and the letter of his departure - to somewhere. I sigh. I should have cleared these things a long time ago and put them aside. I feel sad. Is it worth the time thinking and waiting for him? Is the promise a true promise? I take the pendant out from the drawer, lifting it a level with my eyes. The angles of every sides of the pendant reflects the most unique colours under the moonlight.

"Sydney?" My mum knocks the door and open it. "You have a phone call."
A phone call? I think. Cindy? Nobody ever asks for me through the house phone. "Thanks."
I run down the stairs, almost trip on something on the floor and reach out to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Sydney."
I cannot recognize this voice - but I know it is a guy.
"May I know, who is this?"
He just laughs. I tap my finger on the side table, wondering if he will answer my question.
"I know you, but I don't think you know me."
"Er, obviously." I reply short. Whoever this person is, he's a freaking stalker.
"Don't think of me that way." He just read my mind...What?
"See me at the foyer on Monday, okay? You'll know who I am." He says.
"That's the reason you called me?"
"Yeah, pretty much the reason I called you. Another thing, I just want to ask if you're okay." This guy is getting weird.
"Why? You mean, I shouldn't be?"
He is silent.
"Okay, I'll see you at the foyer.. Hold on, you're in the same school?"
And he hangs up. I look at the phone on my hand, staring in disbelief. "I'm so not seeing you. Why must I?"

I tell nothing about the misterious guy who called three nights ago. "So, how was your date?" I ask Cindy.
"Well, it was a peaceful date. But I like it," she just says. Peaceful. I wonder if Cole will freak out if he knows Cindy's..loud. I laugh to myself.
"What?"
I guess she must have heard me.
"I wonder.. about the peaceful thing."
"Girls change, dear," she blushes. From the other end of the corridor, Emma comes running towards us.
"Ciinndyyyy!" She reaches us, still panting. She takes in a few breath of air and continues, "Miss Fish wants to see you, us."
"Oh, must be about the bully case."
"What bully case?" I ask.
"Nah.. It's just something I have to help, for investigation. Byes, see you later, Sydney!"
Both of them disappear within seconds in a crowd of schoolmates.

I walk to the foyer, then I remember. I look around to see if anybody is waiting there. No, there isn't. With a breath of relief I walk out towards the main gate.

That night, he calls again.
"Hello?" I recognize his voice this time.
"Yeah, Sydney here."
"You didn't come today.."
"Yeah." I am so not in the mood for games. "Why not you just tell me who you are and what exactly do you want?" I have to be more defensive and protective of myself - since Cedric's not here to, protect me. I don't know this guy.
"I am a new student."
Wow, that's a clue, I think, sarcastically.
"How did you know my number?" I ask, a little curious this time.
"The students' register, in the office."
"Ohh."
"Well, good night then. See you tomorrow."
"Er, good night."

"Who's that?" Dad asks as soon as I walk to the living room.
"I don't know."
"Ohh."
I laugh. He's reaction is the same as mine - Ohh. How alike can we be? I sit and watch tv with him. Mum brought popcorns into the room. We watch together then. It is like there are no worries at that moment. I am back to when I was four. Mum and Dad would always sit and play with me the whole day.

I will accept, whatever happens next..

DROPS

2009-11-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

We have food, clothes, water and a place called home.

Today, I want to talk about water. Water is so important to humans, animals and plants. Everywhere, there is water. Lakes, rivers, seas... However, we lack of appreciation.

For example, when we wash our cars, the water is left running when it is not in use. What is so difficult just to turn off the tap? Let's say.. in 1 minute, 1 litre of water runs out off the hose, how much water will be wasted in just 5 minutes? 10 minutes? half an hour? one hour??

If you say, "I pay for the water, so what?" , "I can afford to pay the water bil." ...

-you are kinda selfish-

It's not about whether you are able to or not. It's about letting the water to waste. TO WASTE.

Imagine half the population of the world wastes water. Soon, we'll run out of this blessed gift. What will happen to us then? Stop wasting - water and not only that, food etc. JUST STOP WASTING already. If we continue this reckless act, it'll only affect us, inhabitants.

Think of some places in the world, where water crisis is affecting children and family.

Do our part. Save water.

:) :D xD

Promise (8)

2009-11-12T06:12:00.000-08:00

Chapter 7 : Lost

I can't believe what just happened.

I stand still beside my bed, unable to make sense out of everything. Am I dreaming? Where is Cedric? I have to be sleeping.. and dreaming - a really bad dream. I am seeing Cedric tomorrow. I am very excited.. Yes, I am excited. I have to get a good sleep before dawn breaks. I have to wake up, drink a glass of water and go back to a quiet sleep. But what am I doing? I can't move. My hand is still holding the letter. Tears start prickling, but I ignore them. Wake up, Sydney. This is a bad dream. Wake up... Why aren't you?

I can't help but fall right onto the floor. I can't feel my body. I can't feel anything. This can't be real. Impossible. I look around. I'm in my room, perfectly dressed except that my jacket has been taken off. It is not a dream, something in my head tells me. No, I fight. I look at the clock. It's eight. I touch my rug on the floor, my bed... Everything is just real. You can never see things so clear in a dream, the voice said again. This time, I have enough. I am getting mad. I shout and scream. I want to wake up! Why am I trapped in this horrible, stupid nightmare? I shout and throw the letter away like it will turn into golden dust and disappear in the air.

"Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I jump. "Nooo!"

"Sydney?" Mum opens the door. I start messing the blankets and bedsheets.
"Sydney? What's wrong? Honey?"
I still continue screaming and shouting. I will not believe a single thing that is happening, I will not believe a single thing.. I chant in my mind. This is a nightmare.
The next thing I know, a familiar pair of arms wrap around me. It's my mum. I stop the noise immediately. That is when Dad comes to see what is happening too.
"Sydney, are you alright?"
"Mum..." I sob. "Is this a dream? Tell me it is...." This time, I can't hold back any more tears. I let them run. My cheeks are wet - and they wet Mum's blouse too.
"Honey, it's not.. What exactly is wrong?"
I realize Dad is watching me very intently. I sob and try to stay calm.
"Cedric... He is..he's...."
I can't let the word out. It's more difficult saying this than suffering from a fatal disease.

"Gone."

It is not a dream after all. Mum and Dad read the letter and spend a whole hour with me in my room. They comfort and ensure me that everything will turn out fine. They will contact Cedric's family to ask more about their sudden moving. I feel useless. I am the one, being left alone and now I have to trouble them to solve my problems - problems that they have expected. I finally understand, why Mum and Dad are worried about Cedric and I. They are afraid I might get hurt. It's all my fault. I want to... I want to.. I don't know what am I going to do.

All my life, it always has been about Cedric. Now that he has left, my life has gone with him - leaving me, alone.

"We love you, Sydney. Remember that. Don't worry. Time passes quickly before you realize it." Mum and Dad take turns hugging me. After an hour, I ask if I could get some time alone. They understand and leave me in my room. I want to cry. Cry, I tell myself. There are no tears. I bite my bottom lip with irritation. Where are the tears when I need them the most? I look to the left. The pink paper is still lying on the now messy bed. I take it shakingly and read it once more.

...I will, come back to you, I promise..

He promises me. I press the paper on my chest and close my eyes - hugging it.

"You promised.." I whisper.

Promise (7)

2009-11-11T03:25:00.000-08:00

Chapter 6 : The Letter

Two months later...

Hey, let's meet at 'Secret Lane' tomorrow. I'll be there by five. I read the text message Cedric sent. I feel excited because we are visiting our traditional hang-out place for my birthday a little early this year - because he will not be able to be here on my birthday, that's what he said. At least, he remembers it - and that's the more important point, isn't it?

I love 'Secret Lane'. It is like the most romantic place on earth and every romance movie should be shot at 'Secret Lane'. It is a long but narrow road that leads to somewhere that I have to find out - because there are no sign boards. When autumn arrives, the red and yellow leaves of the maple trees along the road will fall. The sound of the leaves falling with the wind that blows through them is like a peaceful melody.

I reach our meeting spot at half past four. I want to be earlier than him. I laugh at myself. He will be shocked to see me here first. He must have been thinking of ways to tease me about punctuality. I am definitely not giving him the chance -the last time I was late for a class gathering and he teased me.

I walk around. At times, I will check my watch. The time seems to be ticking by really slowly. At almost five, I start to feel cold. It is getting darker and the wind is blowing harder. I put my hands into my pocket. I feel something - small and hard. I take it out.

It is a shiny blue green pendant. "What is this?" I ask myself. I have never seen this before. "How did it appear in my pocket?"

"You like it?" I hear a voice with the sound of the owner's footsteps behind me. I turn.
"Er, ..." I raise an eyebrow.
"Don't worry, it's nothing."
"It's nothing? It's beautiful."
"Yeah, it is. But don't you like it? It's for you.."
"I can't accept it, Cedric."
He reaches me and holds my cold hands with his - warm and nice. "I want you to have it." He looks at me like he means it. "Your birthday present."
"Cedric, you know I never allow you to get me a present. Same goes to this year."
He hugs me - real tight. "Er, Cedric... haha. I can't breathe.."
I gasp for air as he releases his grip a little. I return his hug. I wrap his body with my arms that don't seem long enough. I release them after a while to continue telling him that I don't need a present.
"Cedric..." I stop. His face is different now. There are lines forming on his forehead - like he has aged a few years. His mouth is no longer in a smile. His eyes look like they are about to well up. He looks so... weak. I look at him - and he avoids my gaze.
"Cedric, look at me." I hold his cheek with my palms so that his eyes look straight at me. "What's wrong?"
He stares and then smiles again. "Nothing. Just upset that you don't want this present. I bought it with my own savings." He chuckles.
I give a sigh of relief. As if there is something worse than this now. Of course he is upset. I totally ignore his feelings. But something still feels wrong.
"Fine. I'll keep this." I smile back, holding the pendant in my palm and waving it at him. "Thank you, it's really beautiful."
And he hugs me again.

"Mum! I'm back!" I call out as soon as I reach home. I throw my bag and jacket to the corner - and fall right onto the couch. My legs feel so heavy and tired. But it is simply wonderful, and perfect. Cedric and I walk down the road for quite a long time, just holding hands and enjoying the moment. That magical feeling never bores me. Never disappears.

"Sydney?" Dad calls me from his study.
"Yeah?"
"I think I heard the letter box closed, just after you left this evening. Do you mind taking the letters in?"
"Er..okay." I mumble.

I get up, unwillingly, towards the door.

I open the letter box. A few letters are in it. I check them one by one. A letter from my dad's company, a postcard from my aunt living in Canada, a flyer from a delivery company and.. one for me - with no sender on the envelope. I walk back into the house. After giving my dad the mails, I head to my room with my bag, jacket and the letter.

I open the envelope. Inside it is a pink paper with black ink staining the corners of it. I open the paper folded in half. I recognise right away that it is Cedric's handwriting. I begin reading its contents.

Hey, Sydney.

It's me Cedric. Er.. you must be thinking why I wrote this letter for you.. I want to tell you something. But I can't tell in front of you. I just can't bring myself to see your reaction after I tell you this..

I am moving. I am. Please, finish reading this before you do anything else. I beg you.

I knew that I was leaving.. two months ago. When I was told about it, I was devastated. I was hurt. I didn't want to leave you. But nothing could change my dad's decision. I have to leave. I don't know where I'm going though. He won't tell me.

Please, don't cry. I know I'm selfish for not telling you.. I am leaving tonight. I want to see you one last time before I go. No, don't come to the airport. I am already in the plane when you read this. I didnt want you to send me because I know you'll be sad or maybe crying. I want to see and remember your happy face - so that I will have something to hold on to when I am away. The sweet girl I have always love, don't cry.. Oh, I'm so sorry.. I hate myself for this. But I will return, someday. I don't know when.. maybe months, or years later..
But I will, come back to you, I promise..

I love you.

Love, Cedric.

THE EFFECTS OF NOT.TAKING.CARE.OF.THE.WORLD.

2009-11-10T06:22:00.000-08:00

one day, i was at a table, doing my work, with a friend. we started talking about this movie, 2012. we discussed about how it misunderstood people. kinda. some people did not even know it was a movie. they got the wrong information. we laughed. 'the world is ending?'

me: omg...what if the world really ended..?
friend: uhhhh...
me: but don't you think it's a good way to leave?
friend: (lol) haha.
me: we'll all leave together.. (then i started singing WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! )
friend: 0.0 HAHAHAHA.
me: hahaha. perhaps i'll be the last person alive! then i can break a record! (ok, i was talking crap...break what kind of record???)

pause.

me: just that... nobody will ever know i broke a record...
friend: oh yeah....(lol)
me: nevermind ! i'll be the second last person alive then! then at least the last person will know!! (LOL)

=.=''' lol, what was i thinking? anyway, i wanna wish this friend the best of luck tomorrow for her music exam!!! GAMBATEH. :D

now, new moon ! *counts how many more days* 16 !!!
excited! *cheers*

and, i have just started reading percy jackson. another friend lent it to me today! just that...gahhhh... i haven't finished my homework...which, i have to hand in this friday. *pulls hair*
this is the result of procrastination.

very well.... signing off here now. i wanna watch some dramas..read books.. and chat !

-michelle

i look at you,
you look at her,
i hate the pain,
but what can i do,
the scar has been there,
it just needs time,
to heal itself,
and to love again...

i look at you again,
you're still looking at her,
and so, i look away,
knowing it's never,

ever gonna be me.

NEW MOON, THE BOMB !

2009-11-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

BOOM !!

it hits the universe

I just finished reading 'THE UNAUTHORISED TWILIGHT FANPIRE MAG' -dolly sept 09- borrowed from a friend. IT'S SO AWESOME. apparently, to make the vampire - Edward - in twilight sparkle, tiny CGI (computer-generated imagery) markers are used to cover his face and body. :O 'so that's how he SPARKLE SPARKLE !'

this mag is full of twilight knowledge, gossips, secrets and more knowledge - like how to style and dress up like our favourite BELLA, ALICE AND ROSALIE !. there's a sneak peek on eclipse in the magazine. it says rachelle (who plays victoria) will be replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard from spidey-man 3! NO WAYY :O

and there is a section on the best and weirdest twilight websites. HAHA. I didnt know there is a blog where fans can actually WRITE TO ROB *gasps* i also took some quizzes - TWI-Q and Rob. My results for twi-q, i'm a TWI-GENIUS. ha. "You've earned your fangs as a twilighter..." haha. for rob's quiz, i only got 23/40. but it says, IT'S TRUE LOVE~ "..you two would be perfect together!" =)

there's a quiz on taylor. but i havent took it yet.. i've got to learn more tay-knowledge before i take it. I DON'T WANNA FAIL. speaking of taylor, i can't resist his flashing, shiny, white teeth. *bling* "you're blinding me ~!!" he's such a cutie. =)

AND yeah, THERE ARE OMG-NESS POSTERS IN THE MAG TOO ! ahhhhhh !! *screams* i can't believe this is not MY MAGAZINE. whoa, wait till my friend sees this post. she'll laugh at me. "HAHAhaha."

NEW MOON COUNTDOWN : 18 more days =))

"I felt like I was trapped in one of those terrifying nightmares, the one where you have to run, run till your lungs burst, but you can't make your body move fast enough."

-michelle CULLEN xD

LIFE WITHOUT DRAMAS WOULD BE BORING

2009-11-06T18:00:00.000-08:00

yup.

Life without dramas would be dead boring. =)

I realized, I can't stand a day without talking about dramas. KOREAN DRAMAS, TAIWAN DRAMAS, JAPANESE DRAMAS.. so, i am just gonna go on talking about them.

so, today, i'll be kinda giving my opinions about some of the dramas, or perhaps movies too.. that I've watched. hopefully it'll make you guys - who arent drama fans yet -interested, and for those crazy fans like me *waves* let's get excited ! or not...

autumn in my heart / autumn tale

sad start, sad climax, sad ending... this drama is quite a tragedy. yet, it's full of..love, romance.. the actors are super cute. seung hun and won bin ! and the actresses are pretty. hye kyo and chae young ! i watched this drama twice. but i didn't watch the ending the first time when it was showing in tv because..i slept off. haha. NOT because it was boring !! it was so sad, okay.. ! it's just that..i really didn't know how i slept off. maybe because i was very tired. i was like eight, small kids can't control when they're sleepy. =) second time watching - still gave me the same sad feeling. it's just the part -BEWARE: IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCH THIS DRAMA (how can you not watch it yet???) PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK- when joon suh died. i remember watching him flying in the air. o.0 er..like floating... what? lol, i thought that was really weird.. but overall, you guys have to watch. OR REWATCH. lols.

next, love story in harvard
first impression : it's kim rae won !!! second impression : it's pretty kim tae hee !! this drama is actually about these korean students... studying in Harvard university. the girl (soo in) studies medicine and the guy (hyun woo) studies law. easy explanation. their love story is soo sweet and romantic ~ however, a love triangle soon complicates the whole lovey dovey thing and people get hurt. T.T but that's not the only thing that makes this love story a drama. i advise that you watch it yourself ~~ haha. oh, and for those who ask : "Kim tae hee?? the bad girl in stairway to heaven?? i hate her!" i wanna say, chill guys (girls) it's only a drama. and she was You li in stairway to heaven. it's a character. it just happens to be a bad one. haha. but don't you think that she has the potential..in acting both good and evil? :D

and i'm actually pretty tired now. cracking my brains to write these...it's been quite a while seen i watched the dramas (on top) :S

next ! hana kimi jp. vs hana kimi tw. !
there are many different thoughts out there, like: "hana kimi tw. s***." "hana kimi jp. is better." "the actress (you know who) in hana kimi tw. s***."
we don't have to be so harsh, fellow drama fans.
we just have to say, "I prefer ----" :)
like me! "When I first watched hana kimi taiwan, I loved it so much. That was how I started loving fahrenheit ! But after watching hana kimi jp. I felt that it's actually better! I prefered hana kimi. jp than the taiwan version! though, I really think both HK have their own specialty. *winks* and ella wasn't soo bad.." :)
see??

I think that's it for now. I'll continue if I feel like it. HAHA. I am gonna take a rest. ZZzz.

^.^V

-michelle

THE END OF THE WORLD?

2009-11-06T06:07:00.000-08:00

we are the world

we are the children

we are the ones who make a brighter day

so let's start giving

there's a choice we're making

we're saving our own lives

so it's true we'll make a better day

just you and me..

...

Right, we are going MJ today !

Actually, I am not a fan, but nevermind. I LOVEEE this song. it's just so BEAUTIFUL, don't you think so?? I just want to cry when I hear this. T^T I can't believe he is dead... OH oh oh !

And Heal the world...

...

heal the world

make it a better place

for you and for me

and the entire human race

there are people dying

if you care enough for the living

make a better place for you and me

...

I'm gonna cry.. Ok, this is freaky. I was typing the word [cry] when MJ sang [cry]. Yup, I'm listening to Heal the World now. Yes, there are people dying. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD NOW? Heal the world, people !!

I especially love this two songs of his. It's really meaningful. *sings together* *cries*

***I would like to dedicate this post to my cousin ! rach ! don't be sad.. :) smile.

OK, everybody now, listen to these MJ songs in youtube now ! haha.

message from me (!) : help the people around you. don't be selfish. today, i realized there are many more people who are less fortunate. yes, lots don't even have computers and internets. some are dying of hunger. some are dying because the world is changing - WARS.. floods.. earthquakes.. it's sad.. people are suffering. but we can make a difference, right?

yes, "there's no need to cry.." :) if we all help, even just a lil' bit.

***

STOP WAR. MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

***

- michelle.

ps: don't worry. be happy. =)

HAPPY.

2009-11-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

I actually know it all along. But why do I still feel sad? The heart is a weird thing. One minute you do not feel a thing. And one minute you feel like crashing. It brings you happiness but it also brings you devastation. Yeah, it brings me more sadness though. You are obvious, in everything you do. I notice it. I see it. Do not feel sad. Do not worry. I'll be happy if you are.. So be happy.

I cry again and again. I wonder when will the tear reservoir dry up. "I got to move on." I tell myself. "I am happy." I lie but always hope, that I will, be happy.

The days pass. One year, two years, three years,.. I still feel the same. Now, I am so tired. Luckily I have my friends and cousins. They are the light. I try to be positive. Yes, I can do this.
However, every morning when I wake up, all these efforts disappear. I have to start rebuilding myself again. Everything that reminds me of you, crush me. I have to start the whole process again.

When I see you, I start thinking ridiculous things. When I don't, I miss you, a lot. I always think if I should continue thinking of you or forget you. I am proud because I own this feeling. Some never fall in love. I do. But I am still confused.

I cry. I laugh. I smile. I hope for the best. "Everything happens for a reason," right?

Yesterday, I made a decision. I wonder whether if I'll be happy if you are happy. Yes, I think so. I let you go. I want you to move on. Maybe I am just not strong enough. I am not a good fighter. Do what you want to do. Do what I may not be able to do. That is, to say the words, "I love you."

Maybe someday, I'll be able to see you again.

With a fresh heart. Free. And happy.

-michelle

ps: be happy no matter what happens =) because it'll make people around you happier..

SMILE, CAUSE IT'S BETTER THAN CRYING. =)

2009-11-05T04:07:00.000-08:00

the big comeback... not really.
yay ! i finally visit my blog.. after so long... exam's over, and i'm kinda bored, left with only tuition homework to do.. so i thought that i should update myself and the blog here... which i think nobody will visit anyway. i deleted more than half of the earlier posts here. have to have a new start, sorta. it just feels like a mess here.

random?
so, let me start by talking about the weather. yeah, i know it's boring but it's the first thing in my mind now. it's raining ~ the raindrops hit the roof so hard i can barely hear my music.. but dont you think the rain is so..beautiful?? though i never play in the rain...not really. asking what music i'm listening to right now? (lol) irony by wonder girls ! yeah.. it's so cool..though i'm not really a fan of theirs. just listened to some of their songs a few days ago.. oh, and i heard of the new k-boyband group. B2ST... my friend told me about them yesterday..only heard one song of theirs so far..

dbsk
i cant believe 2009 is almost... over. haha, not the right word but you get the point. one and a half more month till dbsk's anniversary. *woot*

new moon
and new moon. yay ! it's finally showing soon... real soon !! i cant wait to watch.... i think that jamie campbell (playing as caius) and alex meraz (as paul) are pretty cute... and taylor !! no other 17-year-old could beat sexy Taylor ~ but hey, i wont say i'm team jacob. i love both edward and jacob.. !! HAHA. i'm glad i love both of them. only, i didnt really like jacob in the first book. but awww, he's just so sweet in new moon. so, yay to team edward and team jacob !

the sweet thing called love
not so sweet. love life? heartbroken.. HAHA. nothing much about this topic. but i gotta say, i wish that person would just get out of my life. sick and tired. gah.

winnie the pooh
since a friend said winnie the pooh is so lame, i kinda like winnie the pooh. HAHA. i dont care.

hahaha
yeah, laugh. laugh all you want. HAHAHA.

miss you !
i finally remembered this feeling ! i actually missed blogging. it feels fun again. woo ! more updates in the future ! got to go. bye ! :) :D

-michelle
ps: smile, cause it's better than crying.

ribbons, sequins, and bling

2009-07-13T00:53:00.000-07:00

change you boring, OLD top into a BLINGBLING!

~~~

method: hand-sewn

~~~

time: 2 hours +

~~~

note: "it's not really done... still thinking about.."

~~~

KOIZORA / SKY OF LOVE the movie

2009-07-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

this movie is really GOOD! SWEET yet SAD. MUST watch!

koizora

mika

hiro

Synopsis (mysoju):
Last fall, over 3 million people were brought to tears by the movie Koizora. The original story of Koizora, by the author Mika, was popularized on the cell phone novel site, Mahou no Land, and since then has been turned into a novel, a movie, and now a drama. The highly popular movie will be turned into a drama, which follows the life of a normal higschool girl who experiences many unbelievably sad events, but through it all proving that love conquers all, and this true love story remains unchanged from the movie. Not only does it simply portray the first love of the highschoolers, it shows the warmth from the family, the importance of life, the bonds with friends, and the common happenings of teens, and through it all Mika and Hiro's love story gets unwound.

my comment:
omg..this movie is like...!!!!!! it's so sweet. the guy, Hiro is just so cute. Unexpected things happened.. but they stayed together until something very unpredictable occured. i was shocked. and then later in the movie i was shocled again. last few parts, cried like mad until i earned two swollen eyes. it is just so.. it gives a great impact and sense of regret.. very sadd... altogether, i will always remember it, the story of Hiro and Mika..

p.s. heard that it's based on a true story.. hmmm

"I want to become the sky. And always look after Mika from the above"

"Then everytime when i look at the sky, I'll think of Hiro. A clear sky means Hiro is in a good mood. A rainy day means Hiro is crying. A sunset means Hiro is embarassed. A night sky means Hiro is warmly hugging me.. Right?"

...

hang on..i'll be there soon..

FATED TO LOVE YOU / MING ZHONG ZHU DING WO AI NI

2009-07-05T00:50:00.000-07:00

HAVE YOU WATCHED THIS?? IF YOU ARE A DRAMA FAN AND HAVEN'T WATCHED, YOU SHOULD! I GIVE A 5/5 STAR RATING FOR IT. IT'S BRILLIANT.

Synopsis (dramawiki):

A really unfashionable working class girl Chen Xin Yi has the desire to tie down her handsome boyfriend to be with her. Due to certain reasons, her boyfriend gets her to go on a love cruise and she started to ponder on how to lose her virginity and tie down her boyfriend. Xin Yi ended up getting drunk and went into Ji Cun Xi's room. Cun Xi is the sole male heir to his family's company and has been in love with his girlfriend, Anna, for a long time. He planned to propose to Anna on the boat but she didn't turn up on the cruise. An island owner added drugs into Cun Xi's drink and Cun Xi became disorientated and returned to his own room. Xin Yi and Cun Xi end up having a one night stand. Xin Yi later finds out that she's pregnant and Cun Xi's grandmother forces them to get married.

how will their life be??? hmm.. watch to find out!

youtube : 1. fated to love you mv (do not own this vid)

2. fated to love you mv (do not own this vid)

Geum Jan Di ep 1 - 3 Transformation..

2009-07-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

normal plain lookin'

transformation 1

transformation 2

transformation 3
transformation 4

BBF ep 3 picHIGHLIGHTS~!!!!!!

2009-07-04T23:05:00.001-07:00

***

BBF ep 2 picHIGHLIGHTS~~

2009-07-03T22:11:00.001-07:00

LOOKING FOR NEW DRAMAS TO WATCH?????

2009-07-02T03:55:00.000-07:00

HERE ARE SOME WHICH I FIND:
a) GLORIOUS!!
b) AMAZING!!!
c) GREAT!!!
d) INTERESTING!
e) FAB!!!
f) very OMG!!! kind. .

BOYS BEFORE FLOWERS / KKOTBODA NAMJA
~~love it love it love it love it love it ... lee min ho! kim bum!!

ILJIMAE
~~lee jun ki!!

TOKYO HOLIDAY (DBSK BANJUN DRAMA)

UNFORGETTABLE LOVE (DBSK BANJUN DRAMA)

DANGEROUS LOVE (DBSK BANJUN DRAMA)

SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR ME

TIME BETWEEN DOG AND WOLF

HELLO MY LADY / HELLO MISS

HWANG JIN YI

TREE IN HEAVEN / CHUNGOOKEH NAMOO

PRINCESS HOURS / GOONG

SUCCESSFUL STORY OF A BRIGHT GIRL

SASSY GIRL CHUN HYANG / KWAE-GEOL CHUN HYANG

MY GIRL

MY LOVELY SAM SOON / MY NAME IS SAM SOON

LOVE STORY IN HARVARD / REBEU SUTORI IN HABEODEU

list of more!!:

vacation (dbsk banjun drama)

uninvited guest (dbsk banjun drama)

which star are you from

over the rainbow

snow queen

exhibition of fireworks

full house

all about eve

prince hours

biscuit teacher and star candy

only you

sweet 18

wonderful life

stairway to heaven

autumn in my heart

winter sonata

my love patzzi

green rose

my first cupcakes!!!!!!!!

2009-06-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

last friday. . 12 june. .

the ingredients. .

the undressed cupcake. . ;)

...

ta-daa~!

taste?? "cough. .cough. .ok la. ."

Roses are red..

2009-05-23T02:13:00.000-07:00

and also white! fabrosespics from me..!!
..
maybe not-so-fab-but-okay pics.. hehe

jelly fun

2009-04-02T03:38:00.000-07:00

the konyaku jelly that i made!

ribena flavoured with orange and kiwi seeds.

YUM~! (hehe..tak puji sendiri la..)

cupcakes!!

2009-03-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

ahhaaahaa!

omg~ isnt it just adorable??

oohhhh..yummm...

ahh!!!! so dreamy~

omg!!! so cute!

oh lala!

ahaha! isnt it cute??

omg! this looks very unique..!

suddenly i have the sudden craziness of looking and collecting pictures of cupcakes after lookin at one!!!! so cute and adorable!!!!!

Promise (6)

2009-03-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

Chapter 5 : Bitter Sweet

As usual, Cedric picks me up on time. At seven. I put on my favourite dress, and tiny floral dangling earrings to brighten it up. We went to 'Green Forest'. Our date is moving perfectly fine. It is a very, very extraordinary date. We have champagne, steaks, flowers. In summary, it is a candle-light dinner. I never feel uncomfortable once here in 'Green Forest'. Feels like home.

"Desserts! Oh my gosh, it's my favourite ice cream flavour!" I shriek. I look and admire the glowing dessert in front of me. Not that it really glows. I take a few scoops of it, slowly. Enjoying every taste of it. Bitter, sweet.. Mmm.. I give Cedric a smile. He just looks at me.
"Aren't you eating?"
"No, I'll watch you," he replies, short.
"Still missing your bithday cake?" I tease and chuckle. Again, he just looks.
"You are.." I pause. "..very quiet today."
"Am I?"
"Yeah..Still mad that I missed your calls?"
"No, not at all."
"So.." I raise an eyebrow. Speaking of this, I am really good at it.
"Sydney, erm.. I might not be around for your birthday."
"Well, you can tell me this three months later, when it is really coming. Haha.. But, why?"
"I.. Well, I am sorry I won't be around. I have some..plans."
"Right.. So we won't be able to visit 'Secret Lane'?"
"We will if you want to. Just a lil' bit earlier."
"Right." I fake a smile and just play with the ice cream which does not look as good as earlier.
"What do you want? For your birthday?" He smiles.
Well, I want you to be with me on my birthday and be away from your..disturbing plans.
"Uh.. Nothing. Have fun then."

If I have known it earlier, if I were a little smarter, I would have ask him what his plans were.

STOP ANIMAL ABUSE

2009-02-27T06:03:00.000-08:00

OMG. SICK SICK SICK. HOW CAN THESE PPL BE SO DAMNED. URGH..SICK. INHUMANE. MURDERERS. since chia mei's ulbs presentation, i tried out watching a few more videos on this. not that i like watching them, but at least i know what it looks like when the poor animals are being skinned. it's sickening. imagine yourself being hit with a stick, thrown with your head aimed to the ground, hit again and skinned alive.

here are some of the links to videos about this topic (general):
1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10 , 11 (do not own vids)

(8:omg..the monkey's stare is so heartbreaking!!)
it's so so sad. T.T

easiest way to help save these animals used for this industry, say NO to fur. such a simple act can save them. why do we have to kill them for pleasure?

links about animal abuse:
Wikipedia
KFC (urgh..colonel's pic scares me)
McD
Mars Bars - Animal Testing (chia mei was saying..)
(do not own the contents)

"They wanna live, just like we do."

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." -Mahatma Gandhi

"Animals are living things too. What gives us the right to invade them? People often say 'they are animals' to criminals. By right, animals shouldn't be used as a comparison. Poeple should never say 'you are worst than an animal'. Because animals are animals. They are innocent creatures that live in their nature." -me

"God gives a special ability, to think, so that we can care for others such as animals" -me, again.

A STORY OF 'MY' LIFE
a story dedicated to all people (and animals) in the world by michelle-yinting
- i was once my owner's beloved companion, but i soon got separated and locked up with other animals. looking at them, i wondered if they were others' loved creatures. looking at them, i felt afraid of what might happen to me. the sight of them sent creeps. all the sweet memories flashed in my head. how sad i felt to be parted. i missed the world of love so much. all of a sudden my life came to a change. i was treated like a worthless creature. worthless than worthless. never that i knew, my life will be ending like this. no matter how hard i tried to stay alive, i was not given a second chance. not even a chance to let out a cry. so i breathed and think about the past instead of the present, and slowly closed my eyes. -

comments that contain links about this are welcomed ^^
perhaps you can link this post to others. TQ

-some commented links-
peta kills animals . com (? ..?) (shooks head)

Shatter - 30 Seconds Short Story ;]

2009-02-04T06:35:00.000-08:00

--
"You always said you understand me. I always think, do you really understand what I think?"
I stop, breathe out and continue,
"I know. You never really knew me. I.."
A tear slowly flows out from my right eye. I try to continue, but I am lost for words.
"Sorry.." he whispers. I place my gaze somewhere else. I can't bear to look straight into his eyes.
"I have to go." I tell him. I turn away and start walking. By then, fireworks of new year are being shot out. I am glad for my cries and sobs will not be heard.
I am happy, I think. For everything that has been cleared up. We will go our separate ways. For now and maybe till the end.
Let all our happy and sweet memories, be memories.

Two blocks away now, I have walked.
I look into the sky decorated with colours of magic.
I put a smile, wishing and praying,
"Please make tomorrow a better day for me and him," and continue to walk in the cold air of midnight.
--

copyrighted!

My Last Post as a 15-Year-Old!!

2009-01-23T07:07:00.000-08:00

hurrah!! i am turning 16 in one more hour!! today's my last day of being a 15-year-old. haha~~

anyways, thanks to you guys who wished me and took the trouble for giving me presies (hahaha!!! i got a 'poster' of dbsk!!)~!! i am so happy..!

haha, right. i wanna update my dbsk blog liao.

**love ya!

CIMB GROUP WORLD UNIVERSITIES PEACE INVITATIONAL DEBATE 2008!!!

2008-12-17T08:21:00.000-08:00

CIMB GROUP WORLD UNIVERSITIES PEACE INVITATIONAL DEBATE 2008!!! - THE GRAND FINALS!
17 Dec 2008, 7.45pm-12am

WHOA~ like the chief judge said about the debate, "It was great!"
the whole night (this evening), for the past 6 hours i attended this WUPID 2008 by the CIMB group. 29 universities from 18 countries joined altogether! just came back from KLCC at KL (duh..) and I am tired but I gotta share this!! It was brilliant.
So, I went with Marissa, who invited me, who was invited by Mr Lee and Ms Lee to attend this. I was wearing a green velvet dress and a black silky shawl. It was supposed to be formal. Anywayz, Mr Lee, his son and Ms Lee came to pick us up at 6 exact at M's house. We chit-chatted a lot in the car since we have not seen each other since holiday started. We reached our destination around 6.50. then we went to Kenny Roger's. M and I already ate our dinner so all we got and shared was a bowl of mashed potato and a glass of iced lemon tea. Quite a big serving, actually.
At 7.30, we entered the auditorium..er, i wasn't observant enough to see what the hall is called. [I know now! It's the Plenary Theatre] Hehe ;) We waited. We saw the poeple from the media. Like NST. He was snap shotting around for a while. Whoa..those flashes.. We waited until 8.15. Then Raja Muda Perak and Puan Muda Perak arrived with VIPs~ The debate started after some short speeches around 5-10 mins later. 4 teams from 4 universities were competing. Monash(1st), Vermont(3rd), Sydney(2nd) and (a uni from the Philipines..i can't catch the name!)(third runner-up). Two speakers in a team. Two teams at the government side and the other two, the opposition. Phew! They spoke incredibly fast~! So fast I always get lost. Haha. The title was something something military forces on somalia pirates. Basically it's just like, one said they are necessary and one said no to violence. Easy explanation huh. So, the debate went on until 9.45 for 8 of the debators. We had a break, as the judges needed time to..ya. Until 10.15. I rushed to the toilet cause yeah, I had to go. Haha.. Why am I getting into this topic? And then we snapped some photos. Ok, at 10.20 they continued. This time with longer speeches (quite interesting and entertaining actually!) from the Group Chief Executive, and Chief judge. And then they gave souvenirs to the judges..announced the top ten best speakers! Took pics.. Grats Tim from Sydney University for being the best speaker. I think he spoke really clear and his pace were much more steadier. Then! The winners were announced! Haha. Already said on top. Whoa..!! The champs got the champ trophy and RM 15k. But seriously, all of them were really really good. Oh, yea. In fact, one of them actually look like Joe Jonas!! Haha.. Not that I am a fan of Joe. But HAHA! The whole thing ended at 11.20pm. Walking back to the car park, we had to walk through the park. Gorgeous! But my feet was quite tired actually cause I had to walk really long, plus, I was wearing high heels. There was M, taking pics. Something happened a while after that as we walked through the door to Suria KLCC building. A guy came in by the other door and the door hit me at the back as I was walking in. Gosh! Didn't he see me??? And I hurt my lil' toe a lil'. LOL. Luckily the pain didn't last long. So, we drove back. The car slightly more slient this time, haaha~. Slight jam on the road near popular hang outs. Actually, I don't really know KL so well. How bad can I be?? Haha. Reached my home at early minutes of 12am. Now, 1am, still writing here!! Btw, lol! M left some things in my bag. And I need to get the pics we took tonight from her. So, obviously I can't post the photos right now. Stay tuned for it. >< (Yawn) Sleepy already! Muscles tight.
Good night!
p.s: my head's not really working right now so i think i will definitely missed some important points here. i will update if i find anything i wanna add! hehe..

Promise (5)

2008-12-12T22:36:00.000-08:00

Chapter 4 : The Missed Calls

"What?! Laugh out loud, babe! Wait till.." Cindy speaks loudly.
We are talking about Emma's holiday. Apparently, it isn't going so well - as planned earlier. She went on a date with one of those guys in our class. It was her first date, to be precise and the guy's actually quite silly - to me, of course. They went to this chinese restaurant and Emma ended up eating something she wasn't fond of but forced herself to and - I'd better not tell this part. In conclusion, it was a total disaster.
So, everybody is now staring at us from every corner of ‘UrHome Cafe’. Thanks to Miss Cindy, we look like three crazy-plus-gone-wild girls although Emma and I only exchange embarrassed looks.
"So, how's yours, Sydney?" Emma cuts her off.
Cindy gives her a look and continues,
"Nah-ah. You ain't gonna change the subject. We are talking about you, my dear friend. Besides, I bet Sydney's too crazy in love, she'll start daydreaming before we ask her anything. Happened once."
I narrow my eyes and say, "Nice, speech."
A waitress then presents the drinks we ordered a few minutes ago. I take their 'signature' juice while both Cindy and Emma order hot chocolate. Hot chocolate's one thing they have in common.
"Thank you," we wish simultaneously.
"Wait till you.." Cindy clears her throat and continues.

Perhaps she isn't going to dig anything from me after all, for today.
After about an hour chit-chatting at the cafe, we start heading from shops to shops. Topshop, Vincci, F.O.S and lots more. It is not until after 3 hours that we stopped. Cindy finally gets her new swimsuit bikini - and she loves it. The last time she gets one was I think 3 years ago. She has been working hard and saving money for it. I am proud of her.
Cindy has been my friend for almost 4 years. We spend a lot of time together reading books. We also have sleepovers at each other's house. Not that we have it often now. Well, I learn that people do grow up.
Although Cindy can be wild at times, she has a big heart.
On the other hand, Emma is the mild-type. She won't go wild like Cindy. I have just met her earlier this year. I feel that she has her very own unique qualities that both Cindy and I don't.
However, three of us get on really well.
At the end of our shopping trip, Emma has her new mini denim skirt which was on sale and I have got two packets of Cassie's favourite dog chew.
As we are walking toward our cab, I notice something sparkling attractively from the corner of my eye. I turn to the right but to see nothing. Just an empty space in front of the mall entrance. Maybe I haven't had enough sleep last night I am beginning to hallucinate.

"Hey, why not we go for lunch?" Cindy suggests as soon as we hit the road. "To the chinese restaurant, anyone?" she grins at Emma who rolls her eyes and then turns to look at me.
"Well? It's one already."
I check my watch. It's 5 minutes past one.
"Err.. Oh, I am so sorry but my mum's making lunch," I apologize and smile.
"So I guess it will only be Emma and I, huh.. Okay," Cindy says, a bit disappointed. I feel a sudden pang of guilt in me for rejecting them. I have no choice. So, they drop me off and I hurriedly enter my house. "Hey, dad!"
"Mmm..what's cooking?" I turn to the kitchen where I see Mum placing two pots on our rosewood dining table.
"Spaghetti and pasta with homemade tomato puree!" Mum announces and then asks, "What you got there?"
"Oh. Nothing much. Just something for Cassie."
"Well, dear. I think it is normal to spend on yourself once in a while."
I walk into the kitchen to grab my lunch. "Well, I don't really have to. Besides, I've spent enough for this summer. Don't worry, Mum. I don't have to spend to be normal."
Mum thinks I shouldn't bother saving too much. Haha, seriously, I won't go nuts not buying anything.
Just when I'm about to finish my so-delicious spaghetti, dad enters from the living hall.
"Ready for lunch?" Mum asks.
"Yeap," Dad replies and gives his stomach a rub. "Oh yeah, honey. Your phone has been ringing all day."
"Hmm? Oh! My phone. Didn't I bring it with me?! Oh-kay.." I finish my last strand of spaghetti and rush up to my room after cleaning my dishes.
There is my phone, on my study table. Right.. I left it there last night.
I check the missed calls. Wow.. Cedric's name is all over the list! I wonder what is so important. I also check the time of the last call. 11.30.. I should have brought my hand phone with me. I was in a rush this morning I forgot.
I speed dial his number.
"Sorry, the number you dialed is currently unavailable.."
"Urgh.." I moan and shut it off.
What if I missed something important? Was he alright? Cedric wouldn't call for nothing important - for so many times!
I try calling him again.
"Hello," I hear him on the line.
"Hey. Are you okay? I wasn't with my phone. I'm sorry."
"I'm fine," his voice breaks as he convinces. He doesn't sound fine. He sounds terrible - miserable.
"No, you don't. What's up? Tell me. Surely you have something important, don't you? Are you sick?"
"Sydney, I am okay."
I feel weird. There's a tone in his voice I am not sure what it is. It sounds like he's suffering from a sore throat. But there's got to be something more serious than that.

"I'll pick you up for dinner tomorrow night. Seven's fine?"
"Seven's fine." I say in disappointment after a pause. Somehow, I don't feel as excited as I always will be. Normally when Cedric asks me out I will end up jumping about in my room. But not now. Something doesn't feel right.
Or maybe he is right. Maybe I am just being paranoid. Maybe he is just upset about having to call me so many times. Maybe he has been calling to ask me out! Yeah..
"See you then. Bye. Love you," he sounds a little more composed.
"Look, if you have a problem, just talk to me. I'll be there for you.. See you tomorrow then. I love you too."
Beep and the call ends.
I have never had such awkward conversations with him before.

I spend my whole day in my room lying on my bed. My mind keeps thinking of Cedric. Of how odd he sounded this afternoon. I can't think of anything that would make him sound so fragile - breakable.
I hear my clock on the wall ticks. Tick-tock-tick-tock. Soon, night has arrived.
I miss him. But I don't dare call him. I am afraid to hear his unusual voice. Silly! Everybody has the right to be upset. He is probably just mad of me.
Argh..what am I worrying about? He just tried over and over again calling me early today and sounded unusual by the time I talked to him. That's all..
I take a deep breath.

Just then Mum calls from below, "Time for dinner, sweetie!"
"Urgh..Sometimes I just wish humans don't eat," I talk to myself. My stomach's rumbling but I don't feel I have an appetite.
"Right! One minute!" I shout. I don't want Mum come knocking on my door, nagging me about how important nutrition is for kids like me.

I don't sleep so easily that night. I can only pray everything will be all right.

Just Another Story..of him and her

2008-12-10T06:19:00.000-08:00

Just Another Story..of him and her

We were admiring the sight of both of us.
The beautiful Sun was setting after a long day.
Colouring the sky with shades of red.
The cold sea breeze didn't seem to bother any of us.
There we were, standing on the empty beach stretched out so beautifully with glitters of fine sand.
Nothing was ever so magnificent before.
For all I'd known..he was everything to me.
His eyes sparkled like millions of diamonds.
His lips were as promising as ever.
His arms were warm around me.
He was all I needed.
His comfort never seemed enough.
His care never faded.
Everything was so fascinating.
And so, I was afraid.
Afraid that all these would one day, vanish.
Before I knew, I shed a tear.
There he was, wiping it down my cheek.
I smiled but couldn't hide the worry in my blurry eyes.
"I love you," he said and gave me a smile which melted my fragile heart.
I kept quiet for a moment.
The sky was getting darker.
Birds were flying freely in the air.
Palm trees were swaying.
The waves were alive.
The Earth was so beautiful.
And so was he.
My one true love.
I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of nature.
And his heartbeat.
Is this heart pumping for me? I thought.
Am I fated to love you?
I opened my eyes and gazed at him.
My eyes were now clear.
I saw only him.
For a second or two I heard only him.
No interruptions.
Hot blood was rising up my cheeks.
I knew he was the one.
The one who would be with me all my life.
The one I would see every morning, day and night.
The one I would tell stories to, or cry to when I'm unhappy.
The one I would laugh with whenever I felt like laughing.
I then laid my head on his shoulder and whispered,

"I love you."

~~End~~

Warning: this is not a chapter in Promise..

So, what do you think??

Promise (4)

2008-12-09T05:08:00.000-08:00

Chapter 3 : The Dream

I had a dream. A dream so real I never thought I would have.

I was walking alone at a sidewalk. It was cold and so my arms wrapped around my body. I was wearing my favourite beige winter jacket, a scarf and jeans. I was checking the time on my watch when I heard my name called, "Hey, Sydney!" I turned toward the direction of the sweet, calm voice to see a guy looking at me. I was startled for a moment that I stared at him.
Did he just call me?
His gaze was still on me. Do I know him? I thought.
But then, of course, the more important question should be, How does he know my name?? However, my mind didn't process fast enough for me to say a thing.

His face was unfamiliar. A stranger to me.

I studied his face. Hmm.. His eyebrows are in naturally-perfect shape, his irises are caramel-coloured.. Hair perfectly styled.
Wow.. Impressive.
I suddenly realised that I was almost day-dreaming. I blinked my eyes and shook my head a little to clear my thoughts.
He was still looking.
Then, he got up from the bench he was sitting on and walked toward me.
I didn't move a muscle. I had that strange feeling - which told me I should run.
But, I didn't move. I couldn't. It was like I froze due to a sudden drop in temperature.
Sigh..

He threw a crooked smile when he finally stopped a feet away in front of me.
Wow.. Again. He did look attractive for a moment, since a while ago..
He seemed to glow despite the place being dark.

Then, he said something which sounded like "Hello, I'm..."
I didn't get the next few words because everything seemed to be blur.
I replied his hello and of course, I didn't have to introduce myself.
Before I could ask anything else he held his hand out. I looked at the fair hand and looked up again at him. My head moved up slowly like a machine - or more like the head of a robot. "Err..why?" What a silly question, i thought after a few seconds. Well, he just wanted to shake hands, of course.
He just grinned.
So, I reached for his hand and shook it.
His hand felt so smooth and warm. My body felt as if the ice around it melted instantly.
Two seconds later, I realised we were doing some kind of hand shake.
I followed and almost laughed because I couldn't believe what I was doing at the moment.
Silly..doing a hand shake out of nowhere in the public with a stranger?? How much weirder can it be?
Later he said, "I heard that you can dance."
I frowned and thought how he'd known..
Slow music started playing in the air. I did not know where it was from. I didn't want to.

"Shall we?" He bent forward, left hand at the back and the other held out gracefully - again -offering a dance.
I was thinking (a) I couldn't dance with just any stranger - here and (b) I was crazy because the next thing I knew I was placing my small hand on his and swaying. A slow waltz.
We danced for a while - for quite a long time.
Blur images started to form.

That's when I wake up. I stare at my ceiling. I am on my bed - in my room. Oh..yeah. I try to recall what happened. Right. I was dreaming after all. I ain't wearing any jacket or jeans. I am in my pyjamas.
My thoughts fly back to my dream again. Weird but beautiful, i think. Who was that guy anyway? I didn't catch his name.

"Oh, whatever!" I say in a loud whisper under my blanket. It was a dream! Moreover, who cares? I don't even dance.

I clear my mind and get up from bed. After cleaning myself, I rush downstairs to find my parents at the kitchen. "Morning, Cassie!" Seems like I startle my sleeping dog.
"Hey, honey. How was your date?" Dad asks.
I never seem to get away without a question or two after every date I have. I am surprised I actually never get used to it. "Did he like it?" he continues after a pause.
"Right..the birthday. Erm. Yeah! He loved it," I reply convincingly. I look up to see both pairs of eyes on me.
"Erm, Mum? Can you please pass me the cereal? Thanks," I act nonchalantly, trying to break the awkwardness. I pour the cereal into my bowl of milk and start munching - really loud.

"Well.. I am glad," Mum says after a long silence.
I realise her throwing a quick glance at dad which makes him go, "Well, yeah. Sydney, erm.. Good for you."
"Both your dad and I might have been wrong..of you, and Cedric."
I raise one eyebrow and study their expressions really quick to see if they are joking. Well, not.
Well done, i think.
"Er..thanks! Mum, dad. It's really nice of you," I try not to sound too delighted.

After finishing breakfast, I rush upstairs to grab my bag. I am in a hurry now that I am almost late to meet my friends at the not-so-popular mall near town. It has been quite a while since I last saw them and I am quite excited!

"Bye, Mum! Bye, Dad!" and I am off.

[this story is fictional and it has nothing to do with the living or the dead]
[please be noted that places mentioned are meant to be fictional]

**This chapter is based on a dream i had one night. A few changes are made to make it less silly. LOL.

Promise - Cedric n Sydney~~ ArtPics

2008-12-09T04:12:00.000-08:00

Promise (edited)

Promise Art Pics 2

2008-12-09T03:58:00.000-08:00

PICTURE~~~ (media: crayon and paint..messy^^)

Promise Art Pics

2008-12-09T03:51:00.000-08:00

PICTURES~~~

Promise (3)

2008-11-23T21:40:00.000-08:00

Chapter 2 : Cinderella..Back By Eight?

"So what makes you think I love cheese cake?" Cedric asks while controlling the steering wheel with his left hand. The other - holding my small, fragile hand.

Cedric and I are on our way home - to my home. He is supposed to be sending me back, by eight. Right now, it is a quarter past eight. Obviously my mum will not be glad - and my dad. And my dog. The truth is, mum isn't really fond that I'm going out (or rather, dating - the exact word) with Cedric. Dad too.
Cedric's parent are not too sure either.

When I ask Cedric about this, all he says is, "Don't worry, they'll get over it," confidently. Maybe Cedric's right - I don't have to worry. So, actually, my family knows about Cedrics's family and they know my family as well. How? Open day and Parent-Teacher's Meeting, of course. Plus, it is because we have known each other almost half our lives.

Their conversation went like this the first time they met in school. As far as I can remember..we were juniors in high school. Not very pleasant times, really.
"So, Mrs Applemint, my son, Cedric, talks a lot about your daughter," Mrs Richmen started as soon as Cedric and I introduced our families. "Sydney is indeed very beautiful," she continued and smiled at Cedric.
I shot an embarrassed look at him.
"Well, after all, she's all I got. Your son is one good-looking boy too, you know," my mum replied in a manner so polite I almost couldn't recognised and laughed. We all laughed - not so much for me.
Everything was fine at that time because Cedric and I were just plain, good friends. The fact that both our families opposed our relationship when we were 14 was because (a) I - my family - wasn't up to standard and (b) Cedric was too good for me.

Sigh..
However, I always believe till now that their minds will one day, change.

The reason why we are late now is because we spent nearly 30 minutes hugging..and.. and it's just that, that we forget all about time.

"I read your profile in your blog. I do blog, you know," I reply him sarcastically.
"Haha, one point for Miss Applemint."
"Haha..very funny," and I pull out an 'amused' look. He notices my familiar expression and chuckles.

We reach the front of my house just before half past eight. I get out of his car. My black, brown hair swings in the air as I turn my head to face him who is sitting in his comfortable seat and wave goodbye.

As I am walking to the porch of my home, with my back facing the car, Cedric honks and wishes goodnight - aloud. I quickly make my way to the door and inside my cosy little house before any neighbour looks out of his - or her window.

Guess what? Mum and dad are out. Of course, i think. They would have waited at the door if they were home to see me waving goodbye at my beloved Cedric. "Hey, Cassie," I greet my dog, pat him and feed him. So what I do next is grab some cream crackers and head up to my bedroom facing the street at the first floor and changed into my teddy-printed pyjamas.

Just as I am pulling out my History book from my pile of untouched-since-summer-holiday school books and magazines, my phone rings. I reach for my phone in my bag - on my bed - which is beside my study table. I look to the screen to see Cedric's name.
"How's it going?" the first question pops out as soon as I receive the call.
"It's fine. They're out. Remind me again if we ever, ever get into this situation again. How about you?" I answer while munching my second cracker and swallowing it down my throat.
"Very cool. You know I never have limits,"
Which means, Cedric is free to be anywhere at anytime of the day.

Before I can say anything more, I see two streams of light which brighten the entire dark, quiet street in front of me.
"Er..Cedric, sorry. I have got to go. My parents are back. See you other time! Night," I rush those words in three seconds and manoeuvre my finger to the end-call button before he says anything.
I open my book to the page where I last stopped and read while my mouth is munching away.

"Sydney?" my mum calls from my door which has the poster of my favourite movie - titanic on it.
"Yes?" I reply in a bright tone as I make my way to the door and open it.
"I called the house at eight to check if you were home. And nobody picked it up. Where were you?" she asks, her voice more and more suspicious.
"Oh.." Before I can think of anything else, I shoot out a reason you can call reasonable and acceptable, "Probably, I was too ABSORBED in my homework.." and grin.
"Uh.."
Still grinning.
She scans my room - my study table which now looks utterly messy as though i have been sitting there all day long - and leave.

"2 points for me.." I whisper to myself although mum is no longer upstairs in front of me.

Half an hour later, I am on my bed, dreaming of another day of summer vacation.

[this story is fictional and it has nothing to do with the living or the dead][please be noted that places mentioned are meant to be fictional]
**not meant to sound alike (if you think it is) with other stories you known.

Promise (2)

2008-11-20T02:17:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1 : The Best Gift

A year and three months ago..in June

"Hey, Sydney!" Cedric storms from my back, grabs me and throws us both into the water.
"No!!" I shout shockingly as I am lifted from the sand into the..yeah, water. "No! You fool!" I cry out.
Salt water fills my mouth. "Haha. I told you I am dangerous. I am the handsome-and-sexy-yet-dangerous guy on the beach.! Whoa!" Cedric jokes..
I put on an upset face but give a short smile after that. I can't help but to admire him, this Cedric.

I met him in elementary school, well..7 years ago.
We were so small, at the age of ten. However, our love only bloomed 3 years ago.
Cedric said it was because he was getting cuter. But I said,
"No, it's puberty." And he gave me a wink.
He has a pair of thick eyebrows, a rather big pair of eyes, a sharp nose and a dashing pair of lips. His hair is untouched and naturally dark brown with shades of golden. Height? Well, he is about a head taller than me.

Today, we are hanging out at the beach in Collington. It has almost been a tradition for us to come here every summer. I love the sea breeze and the sound of the waves. Cedric doesn't surf. He prefers to be cool, on land. That is why girls - from short to tall, skinny to slim - usually crowd him whenever he is alone.
But, all he will say is, "Sorry, girls. But I am here with my girl.."
Yes, that's me, Sydney Applemint.

I am just an average girl who grows up with my parents' love. We are not poor..but not rich either.

So, right at this moment, I am wet in my pink top and denim shorts. Cedric's madness - plus his Bermuda shorts - makes him more attractive.
We laugh at each other.

Twenty minutes later, at noon, we are dressed up in our casual clothes. Cedric in his favourite Nike T-shirt and jeans. Me in my green tank top and black slacks. We are going to have lunch at 'Green Forest', about a 10-minutes drive from the beach.

'Green Forest' is a tea house that Cedric and I often go to. We started visiting this place since last year. Parties for all sorts of occasions can be held there from day to night.
Today is Cedric's 17th birthday. I have a surprise waiting for him - he has no idea about it and I can't wait!

We then arrive at 'Green Forest' which is located near the woods in Cedric's Porsche. As soon as we get down the car, I blind-fold him with Forever 21 scarf - a birthday present from my dad, Cole, two years ago. I cherish it very much since dad doesn't earn much - to buy me presents for every birthday.

"Wat'cha doing?" Cedric asks.
"Nothing. Just follow me." I reply calmly and guide him through the door of the entrance.

"Happy Birthday!" I wish him aloud right after taking off the blind-fold. "What do you think?" i ask eagerly.
In front of us stood a round table with a round-shaped cheese birthday cake - his favourite.
'Happy Birthday, My Love!' is written on the cake in red. Star decors hang from the ceiling. The floral-printed curtains are down, making the lighted candles at every corner of the room glow romantically. And in the room, there are only both of us.

I have actually arranged this for a couple of weeks. Since I never had a proper celebration for Cedric, I plan to give him the best I can this year. In fact, I used a little bit of my savings. Well, most of it - but I know it's worth it.

"Well?" I ask again. I can see the reflection of the light from the candles in his eyes while they are scanning the room. His blue eyes look green for the first time and his hair is glossier than ever.

"You..made this? For me?" he asks with an unreadable expression, still slightly shocked. His body turns to face me.
"Yeah. Erm, I planned this." I reply and continue, "Don't you like it?"
Suddenly it hits me. I have the sudden panic feeling. Will he like it? I thought. I mean, he is the rich guy who's able to throw parties every night if he wants. How can mine compare to those? My head suddenly feels heavy. I look to the carpeted floor to avoid his gaze, feeling a little bit disappointed.

Then he lifts up my head by my chin and says, "This, ..is the best birthday gift a guy can ever have. I am lucky to have you by my side, Sydney." We are standing face to face so close that I can feel his breath when he speaks. It is also as if I can hear his heart pumping. So close, I feel sincerity.

Touched, tear drops that look like crystals by the glow of the candles fall from Sydney's eyes down her hot, blushing cheeks.

Cedric smiles and gives me a loving hug. His body is warm. His scent is the like scent of nature.
My small hands reach his back and I rest my head on his broad right shoulder.
"I love you." he says gently.
"I love you too.."

[this story is fictional and it has nothing to do with the living or the dead]
[please be noted that places mentioned are meant to be fictional]

Promise (1)

2008-11-20T01:24:00.000-08:00

Preface : Love Is Like An Unpredictable Journey

The cold wind that blows chills my skin. Somehow, I feel warm in the heart. There is something that I am awaiting..deep at the bottom of my heart.

Summer passes, autumn arrives. I too arrive at the familiar cold and abandoned road which is long and narrow.
Along the road are trees..maple trees.
Leaves in the shade of gold fall..flying miles away, making the road seems never-ending.
It is also an unpredictable journey..

I have come a long way. Since the day he left me, I become stronger everyday. It is the promise that keeps me from falling.
I believe that one day..he will come back.

*never thought that it will be this way..
the feeling with you still seems like yesterday..
will we make our way through this..
i wonder...*

[this story is fictional and it has nothing to do with the living or the dead]
[please be noted that places mentioned are meant to be fictional]